Are famous people treated unfairly by the media? Should they be given more privacy, or is the price of their fame an invasion into their private lives? Give your opinion about this issue?

The
media
play a crucial role in our lives;
however
, sometimes they treat
celebrities
in an unfriendly way. Some
people
assert that
this
is the price of being famous,
while
others believe the
media
should not intrude on their privacy. I believe that
although
the
media
play an important role in famous
people
's careers, some regulations should be imposed to tackle
this
issue.
Although
the press has many disadvantages, its chief claim to fame is that it provides many opportunities for famous
people
.
For example
, being in the public eye and becoming famous is one of the aspects of
media
. When TV shows or broadcasters talk about
celebrities
or invite them to their shows, the public becomes more aware of their prominence and capabilities.
This
exposure can keep famous
people
in the headlines.
Furthermore
, renowned
people
can gain more visibility through mass
media
, which can increase their chances of securing contracts, leading to well-being and higher income.
For example
, the Kardashian family became famous overnight and gained wealth and financial opportunities through
media
exposure.
On the other hand
, the
media
have invasive aspects that should not be underestimated.
For instance
, the tabloid press sometimes announces gossip and stereotypes about well-known
people
, which can be harmful.
This
sensational news can cause
celebrities
difficulties,
such
as being fired from movie projects.
Moreover
, some paparazzi intrude on
celebrities
' lives, seeking moments to take photos at inappropriate times and invading their privacy aggressively during their leisure time. In conclusion,
although
the
media
play a vital role in contemporary lives, they have significant drawbacks,
such
as treating renowned
people
in an unfriendly way. I believe that
this
is not a price
celebrities
should pay for fame. Regardless of the benefits of
media
, we should address
this
issue and impose regulations to protect their privacy.
Submitted by sarasadeghi74 on

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task achievement
Your essay very clearly responds to the question with relevant arguments and examples. However, it might benefit from a slightly deeper exploration of the points, balancing the presentation of benefits and drawbacks more evenly.
coherence cohesion
While the ideas flow well overall, consider using a few more transitional phrases to enhance the coherence and connectivity between the paragraphs and main points within each paragraph.
task achievement
The essay provides a comprehensive and well-rounded argument on the topic, covering both sides effectively.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clearly stated and effectively frame the argument, providing a strong structure.
task achievement
The essay offers relevant and specific examples, such as the reference to the Kardashian family, which strengthens the points made.

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