Some people believe it is better to raise children in the city, while others consider the countryside to be a more suitable choice. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
It is considered by many that raising
children
in the major city
will be their prior option, while
others believe that it is better to live in the countryside. In my opinion, I agree that urban living is a preferable choice.
Many people desire to live in the
urban Correct article usage
apply
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
due to
better living conditions such
as effective transportation and quality healthcare, although
with high amounts of people gradually moving into the city
, it becomes crowded nowadays. However
, there is still a positive side to living in a major city
, especially when it comes to raise
Change the verb form
raising
children
. For example
, the opportunities that scholarships provided by the government in the urban area are much more than in the rural area. In this
way, children
who have been raised in the city
have access to a better education environment, while
others who live in the countryside do not have the chance. Furthermore
, major cities have various resources like a
science Correct article usage
apply
museum
or Fix the agreement mistake
museums
an
art Correct article usage
apply
gallery
, which Fix the agreement mistake
galleries
gives
Verb problem
allow
children
to expand their horizons.
There are a lot of advantages to living in the countryside, for instance
, lower living costs and fresh air, people who live here have less stress than others who live in the city
. Nonetheless
, it has several disadvantages to raising children
in the rural environment. The most important one is little competition, while
it is imperative for children
to be ambitious in their youth. Take my student as an example, she does not have a dream about her future, therefore
, she does not care about her grade
at all, and the only thing she pays attention to is video games.
In conclusion, I tend to raise my Fix the agreement mistake
grades
children
in the urban environment, because of the system improvement such
as education, transportation and health care.Submitted by yushin20020625 on
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Structure
Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea to maintain clarity throughout the essay.
Evidence & Examples
Provide more specific examples to strengthen arguments, especially when discussing the benefits of city life versus countryside for raising children.
Balance & Development
Consider expanding on the disadvantages of city life to present a more balanced discussion before stating your preference.
Grammar & Vocabulary
Watch for minor grammatical errors and attempt to use a wider range of vocabulary to improve the overall quality of the essay.
Introduction
Your introduction clearly presents the topic and your stance, which is essential for a coherent essay.
Conclusion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your viewpoints and offers a clear final opinion, which enhances the essay's effectiveness.
Content & Argumentation
Good use of comparative points to outline the advantages of urban living over rural living, especially in terms of opportunities for children.