IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In some countries university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages?

Students
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 prefer to live with their family in some countries,
while
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 in others,
people
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 go to other cities to attend university. In my opinion, living far from family has more benefits than living with them
while
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 studying at a university. First of all, studying at a university is
such
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 a stage of
life
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 that prepares
students
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 for a mature
life
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. They learn to organise their time,
life
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, and manage finances. Research states that
students
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 who live without
parents
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 are more responsible. The other benefit of living without
parents
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 is that
students
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 make relationships with other
people
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. Coliving learns young
people
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 to get
along with
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 their roommates, seek compromises and solve issues together.
This
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 can be a good try-out of future family
life
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. One of the arguments that supports the opinion that youth cannot get help from their
parents
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 if they live far from them. But in the technological era,
students
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 can talk with members of their family at least all day if they want.
In addition
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, they can get money from their
parents
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 just as quickly.
However
Linking Words
, there are some minor drawbacks to living without
parents
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.
Students
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 should rely on themselves, and the daily support of
parents
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 could be useful for them, especially in their first years.
Also
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, some
students
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 are introverts and they cannot live with other
people
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 as easily as others.
To conclude
Linking Words
, I think that studying in another city or country far from
parents
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 has significant benefits for young
people
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. They learn to live independently, solve their issues by themselves, and be responsible.

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analysis
Show both sides. Explain more about the downs and ups of living with family and away. Suggest which you think is best.
content
Add more real details or examples to explain points, like cost, study time, and social life.
language
Fix grammar and word choice. Some phrases are wrong or odd, like 'coliving learns' and 'seek compromises'.
structure
Make clear topic sentences for each paragraph and use links to connect ideas between sentences.
style
Keep simple words. Do not use hard phrases. This can help the IELTS tone.
strength
The writer states an opinion clearly at the start and keeps it.
strength
There are reasons to back up the view, and a short final thought.
strength
The essay has a conclusion that repeats the view.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • independence
  • self-reliance
  • finance management
  • exposure
  • broaden horizons
  • open-minded
  • adaptability
  • conducive environment
  • isolation
  • homesickness
  • financial burden
  • household duties
  • academic responsibilities
  • personal growth
What to do next:
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