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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

these days, many universities courses are offered through the internet. Some people think that online teaching has more advantages than conventional classroom teaching or lectures, while others claim that there are significant advantages. Do the benefits of online teaching outweigh the disadvantages?

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Nowadays, with the widespread use of the internet, most educational corporations
provides
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provide
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 online
education
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oppurtunities
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opportunities
 to individuals.
However
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, some
people
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 argue that getting online
education
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 causes more harm than good,
while
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,
according to
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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others, online
education
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 offers a wide variety of advantages. In my opinion,
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benefits
Correct article usage
the benefits
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 offered by online
education
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 outweigh its disadvantages. On the one hand, some individuals argue that getting
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education
Add an article
an education
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 in
school
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a school
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 setting improves student's learning outcomes.
According to
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 those
people
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, it is difficult for
students
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 to fully concentrate on their lessons, as there are numerous distractions in places where
students
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 get online
education
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such
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 as family members and some home visitors.
additionally
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, it is really easy for
students
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 to have access
their
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to their
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 phones, which
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this
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apply
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is one of the biggest obstacles that makes
difficult
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it difficult
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 for
students
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 to focus on their
works
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work
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 and studies.
On the other hand
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, I am of the opinion that
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
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 provided by online
education
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 are unbelievable. One reason for
that is
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 that learners are able to choose their learning materials
according to
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 their learning pace and capacity, which is quite important, as everybody has their unique learning method. The second reason why I think that online
education
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 has more upsides than downsides is that
people
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 can get access to these materials as frequently as they need and want to access. These materials are always available and suitable for being reached. In conclusion,
although
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 there are some
people
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fail
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who fail
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 to see
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benefits
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the benefits
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 of online
education
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, I firmly believe that online
education
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 has come with many
benefits
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. These
benefits
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 will increase with new online learning methods being developed.

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task achievement
Expand on your examples to better illustrate your points and increase specificity. Demonstrating how online learning adapts to various learning methods with real-life scenarios can strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Try to ensure a seamless flow between paragraphs by using more varied and clear transitional phrases. This will enhance the readability of your essay.
task achievement
For a higher score in task achievement, integrate more detailed examples and evidence to support your arguments. This can include statistics, studies, or personal anecdotes that underscore the benefits of online education.
coherence cohesion
Check your essay for minor grammatical errors and spelling mistakes to ensure clarity and professionalism in your writing.
task achievement
Your essay provides a balanced view by considering both sides of the argument.
coherence cohesion
Good use of topic sentences to outline your paragraphs and guide the reader through your argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Flexible learning schedules
  • Personalized learning experience
  • Digital libraries
  • Interactive forums
  • Reduced costs
  • Digital literacy skills
  • Social interaction
  • Networking opportunities
  • Structured learning environment
  • Direct supervision
  • Technical issues
  • Reliable internet
  • Economically disadvantaged areas
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