IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

You are planning a business trip to another city. You will have some free time to do some sightseeing while you are there. ● Write a letter to a friend who lives in the city you will visit. In your letter ● Explain the purpose of the trip ● Ask about thing to do and see in the city ● Invite your friend to do something with you during your visit

#business #trip #city #time #friend #lives #visit #purpose
Dear Maxine, I am writing to you to let you know about my plans and ask for your recommendations because I'm visiting London next Monday. First of all, I want to explain that I'm going to London to pass an English Cambridge Exam.
Therefore
, we will stay for some days, because we want to see the city and take a little break from school and my parent's work.
Consequently
, I know that you are the person who knows how to spend time with the entertainment and see the most important attractions. So, maybe you could help me out and tell me what can we do there? Let me know about some places which offer delicious dishes, and,
in addition
, I wanted to go shopping somewhere.
In addition
, I've missed you so much and I would like to meet with you and spend the whole day together. No doubt I can rely on your choice. But I can propose going to the cinema because a new film, where your favourite actor plays the main role, is coming out. I miss you and look forward to your reply, Kseniia
Submitted by ksrnnn on

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Task Achievement
Your opening sets a friendly and clear tone, effectively establishing the purpose of your letter. To enhance your task response, delve deeper into your specific interests in London, providing more detailed inquiries about activities or specific sights you're eager to explore.
Coherence and Cohesion
You've organized your letter well, with clear paragraphs for each of your main points. To improve coherence, consider using a wider variety of linking words to smoothly connect your ideas and make your letter flow even better.
Tone
You've effectively used a conversational and polite tone, well-suited to the context of writing to a friend, which enhances the readability and overall tone of the letter.
Task Achievement
Your letter effectively fulfills the task by explaining the purpose of your trip, asking for suggestions on what to do and see, and inviting your friend to join you. You've covered all the necessary points, making your letter comprehensive and well-rounded.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • business trip
  • cultural landmarks
  • local cuisine
  • outdoor activities
  • sightseeing
  • invite
  • recommendations
  • explore
  • enthusiasm
  • anticipation
  • appreciation
  • engagement
  • special events
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