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Band 3.5

Weddings are getting bigger and more expensive. What is the reason for this? Is it a positive or negative development?

#weddings #reason #development
In recent times the matter of
weddings
 has been a topic of debate.
While
 special celebrations
such
 as
weddings
 have become more luxurious and expensive. In
this
 essay, I will explore both perspectives before giving
personal
Add an article
a personal
show examples
 opinion.
One
Correct your spelling
On
show examples
 the
one
 hand, if we fully analyze and explain why many, individuals agree
wish
Correct your spelling
with
show examples
this
 opinion, the first and main reason can be that some families often want to
admired
Add a missing verb
be admired
show examples
 by others.
Therefore
, many parties will be celebrated in a bright atmosphere to show their wealth.
Apart from
this
, some positive families organize their children’s
weddings
.
For instance
, the design of buildings with flowers, balloons and all sorts of fabulous decorations.
One
Correct your spelling
On
show examples
 the other side of the coin, people who disagree with
this
 point of view that
such
weddings
 require a lot of money and food.
For example
, jewelry,
rental
Correct word choice
and rental
show examples
 of wedding dresses so that a lot of money is spent.
In addition
 to
this
,
after
this
wedding
Add a comma
wedding,
show examples
 a large resource remains
for instance
, after organizing a wedding in a restaurant the amount of leftovers will be thrown away. In light of above mentioned
facts
Add a comma
facts,
show examples
one
 can reach a conclusion that even though
such
 wedding expenses do not benefit anyone.
Thus
 it is highly recommended to reduce the amount of wedding expenses and introduce a smile wedding.
Submitted by nazirovmuhammad71 on

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Clarity
Ensure clarity in expressing ideas. Some sentences may benefit from simpler structures or clearer wording to better convey your points.
Cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices beyond 'On the one hand,' 'Apart from this,' etc., to improve the flow and connection between ideas.
Vocabulary
Incorporate a broader range of vocabulary related to the topic of weddings and their social implications, which can add depth to your argument.
Grammar
Pay attention to minor grammatical errors and improve sentence structure for a more polished argument.
Content Depth
Offer more balanced examples and explanations for both sides of the argument, to fully address the essay question.
Introduction
You opened well by stating the essay will explore both perspectives before giving a personal opinion, setting a clear structure.
Examples
You effectively used examples to support your points, such as the desire to display wealth and the consequences of large weddings.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • lavish
  • extravagant
  • nuptials
  • matrimony
  • social status
  • opulence
  • milestone
  • financial leverage
  • debt
  • peer pressure
  • consumerism
  • showcase event
  • ceremonial splendor
  • bridal extravaganza
  • market forces
  • commercialization
  • budgeting
  • social comparison
  • destinal wedding
  • event planning
  • wedding vendors
  • loan
  • prestige
  • economic impact
  • mandatory spending
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