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Writing Samples
Band 7

The table and pie chart illustrate populations in Australia according to different nationalities and areas. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The table and pie chart illustrate populations in Australia according to different nationalities and areas. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#populations #australia #nationalities #areas #information #features #comparisons
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The pie chart illustrates statistics regarding
nationalities
Use synonyms
 in Australia,
while
Linking Words
 the table provides data based on their places of residence.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that the highest
proportion
Use synonyms
 of people residing in Australia is
Australians
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
 the Dutch and the
Chinese
Use synonyms
 witness the lowest number.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the majority of the population prefers to live in urban
areas
Use synonyms
 rather than the countryside. Regarding the pie chart,
Australians
Use synonyms
 account for the largest
proportion
Use synonyms
 of the population, comprising approximately three-quarters of all inhabitants in Australia.
This
Linking Words
 is followed by other
nationalities
Use synonyms
, which account for just under 15%, twice the
proportion
Use synonyms
 of British people. New
Zealanders
Change noun form
Zealander's
Zealanders'
show examples
 percentage is 3% ,
while
Linking Words
 the combined number of
Chinese
Use synonyms
 and Dutch nationals is equal to the percentage of New Zealanders. Moving on to the table, most people across all
nationalities
Use synonyms
 choose to live in urban
areas
Use synonyms
 rather than rural
areas
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
Use synonyms
Chinese
Correct article usage
the Chinese
show examples
ranks
Correct subject-verb agreement
rank
show examples
 the highest in
proportion
Use synonyms
, with 99% ,
Australians
Use synonyms
 have the lowest
proportion
Use synonyms
, with 80%.
Conversely
Linking Words
, 20% of
Australians
Use synonyms
 live in the outskirts, making it the largest
proportion
Use synonyms
. The remaining
nationalities
Use synonyms
 have between 10% and 17%, except for the
Chinese
Use synonyms
, who have only 1% of their
populations
Fix the agreement mistake
population
show examples
 residing in rural
areas
Use synonyms
 .
Submitted by nnatthinee on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words nationalities, proportion, australians, chinese, areas with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 6 times.
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