IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people say that the only reason for learning a new foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

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Although
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 languages are the main means of communication among
people
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, learning a foreign
language
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 and speaking other languages
besides
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 the mother tongue has a variety of different reasons,
such
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 as entertainment and work.
This
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 argument, the importance of being bilingual only for working or living in another country, is both supported and refuted by many.
This
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 essay will analyse both sides of the argument before declaring a position. On one hand, many
people
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 believe that learning and speaking other languages for other reasons is
also
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 worthwhile. Take
people
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 who are under the influence of the Korean wave, culture and
language
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, as an example. Most of them learn Korean,
although
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 they know, they would never live in South Korea, and they learn
this
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language
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 only for entertainment. Not only is not it a waste of time, but
also
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 helps them to prevent Alzheimer's disease, which is proved by American scientists.
Thus
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, it makes it clear, how learning a
language
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 can be helpful for our health,
while
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 we learn it only for entertaining.
On the other hand
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, other
people
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 are of the opinion that learning a new
language
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 is only reasonable for working in and travelling to other countries.
For instance
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, some English speakers believe that they do not need to learn a new
language
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, since their
language
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 is enough to get a well-paid job,
as a consequence
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 of being an international
language
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.
Therefore
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, it seems reasonable for
this
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 group of
people
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 to argue that learning a new
language
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 is sensible only for working and travelling somewhere. In summary, there has always been a debate between the two sides of
this
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 argument regarding the reasonable reason for learning a foreign
language
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 for only work and travel or other reasons. Personally, I believe, we should consider all the aspects and benefits of learning a
language
Use synonyms
 and consider all the factors.

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coherence cohesion
Consider providing a clearer and more direct thesis statement to outline your position in the introduction. This will help readers understand your stance from the beginning.
task achievement
Expand on the examples given. For instance, mention more specific benefits of learning Korean for entertainment or further explain why English speakers might feel they don't need to learn another language.
coherence cohesion
In the conclusion, restate your main points more explicitly and directly connect them to your final opinion. This will leave a stronger impression of your argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a balanced discussion, covering both sides of the argument effectively.
task achievement
Relevant examples are given to support the main points, such as the influence of the Korean wave and the status of English as an international language.
coherence cohesion
The essay maintains a formal tone and uses appropriate language throughout.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • multilingual
  • linguistic proficiency
  • globalized world
  • cross-cultural communication
  • immersive experience
  • adaptability
  • cultural exchange
  • interpersonal skills
  • employment prospects
  • empathy
  • intellectual development
  • overcome language barriers
  • global market
  • resourceful
  • life-changing
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