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Writing Samples
Band 6

Topic: the graph below shows the number of university graduates in Canada from 1992 to 2007.

Topic: the graph below shows the number of university graduates in Canada from 1992 to 2007.
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The line graph compares how many students
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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graduated from universities in Canada in terms of
genders
Fix the agreement mistake
gender
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 over the 15-year period between 1992 and 2007.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 figures for both males and females experienced an upward trend over the given period. What stands out is that the total
number
Use synonyms
 of males
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
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 outweighed by females. In 1992, nearly 100000 female students graduated from universities
while
Linking Words
 the
number
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
of
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 male students
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
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 only about 70000 people. After that, these numbers saw a slight rise in the next 3 years before going down to the previous
number
Use synonyms
 in
1998s
Correct your spelling
1998
.
However
Linking Words
, after 1998, the
number
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 of graduated ladies increased considerably and peaked at around 148000 in 2007.
By contrast
Linking Words
, the figure for men witnessed a fluctuation in 3 years.
This
Linking Words
 figure
then
Linking Words
 went up gradually and reached a peak of
two-third
Correct your spelling
two-thirds
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 of female graduates.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words number with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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