Some educators believe that every child should be taught how to play a musical instrument. To what extent do you agree or disagree? 1- job, relax 2- time consuming, difficult
An argument has arisen about the importance of teaching children how to play musical instruments. In
this
report, I will go through the merits and demerits of this
statement, and then
allow me to share my point of view.
To begin
with, music
is joyful, relaxing, interesting, motivating, and profitable; as a consequence
, many teachers believe that it is essential to learn about munsical
Correct your spelling
musical
tools
. Firstly
, students will be able to work as musicians. For example
, many poor people are not able to attend universities, so playing musical instruments will help them to
get money without attending academies. Verb problem
apply
Secondly
, music
is relaxing. For further
explanation, many experts acknowledged that it helps many people in
various ages to feel relaxed, restful, and comfortable, so they advise children to learn how to play them.
Change preposition
of
Although
the points mentioned above are influencing, there are reverse points that hold equal influence. This
will be a time-consuming activity. To explain that, many students say that they prefer to concentrate on learning interesting fields instead
of learning about music
. Besides
that, a survey captured that many children are not interested in learning about it, but they, indeed, like to listen to it. Additionally
, the idea requires money, experts, and tools
. Many studies show that it is difficult, money-consuming, and useless because in the majority of countries, the schools' budgets are limited, and they need tools
to teach that
, which are expensive, so usually teaching becomes useless without these pieces of equipment. Correct pronoun usage
apply
Also
, many articles said that usually musicians are not interested in teaching; as a result
, it is extremely hard to find an expert teacher.
In conclusion, even though teaching music
is cheerful, astonishing, and interesting, it requires money, tools
, and experts; however
, I completely disagree with the educators' belief
.Fix the agreement mistake
beliefs
Submitted by haneenalnetaif on
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Coherence & Cohesion
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When presenting arguments, ensure a balance between discussing positives and negatives to fully address the task.
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Incorporate more specific examples to support your arguments, especially when discussing the benefits or drawbacks that are not as widely acknowledged.
Coherence & Cohesion
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Task Achievement
You effectively use examples to support your points, adding strength to your arguments.
Task Achievement
The conclusion summarizes the main points effectively and reiterates your position clearly.
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