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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The graphs below show the total percentage of films released and the total percentage of ticket sales in 1996 and 2006 in a country.

The graphs below show the total percentage of films released and the total percentage of ticket sales in 1996 and 2006 in a country.
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The bar graph represents the total rate of
films
Use synonyms
 released and the total rate of cinema
ticket
Use synonyms
sales
Use synonyms
 during the period from 1996 to 2006 in a country.
overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that in both years the drama
films
Use synonyms
 released were the highest
while
Linking Words
, the romance
films
Use synonyms
 were the lowest. in comparison, the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of comedy
ticket
Use synonyms
sales
Use synonyms
 was the longest, and romance
ticket
Use synonyms
sales
Use synonyms
 still were the smallest. In 1996 the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of drama
films
Use synonyms
 released was more popular, over 25 percent
while
Linking Words
 in 2006 it increased steadily by 35 percent.
However
Linking Words
, it is followed by comedy
films
Use synonyms
 at 20% and 25% respectively. The lowest
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
films
Use synonyms
 released was romance and it is at the same
percentage
Use synonyms
 in both years was over 5%.
according to
Linking Words
 the total
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
ticket
Use synonyms
sales
Use synonyms
, comedy
ticket
Use synonyms
sales
Use synonyms
 in 1996 were exactly 20
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
,
then
Linking Words
 in 2006, they experienced an increase of approximately 23%.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words films, ticket, sales, percentage with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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