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Writing Samples
Band 6

In some places, people live with their parents until they are in their twenties or even thirties. What might be the reasons? Is it better for young people to live with their parent or live alone?

#places #people #parents #twenties #thirties #parent
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A significant trend among young
adults
Use synonyms
 is the inclination to reside with their
parents
Use synonyms
 well into their twenties or even thirties.
This
Linking Words
 phenomenon can largely be attributed to two major factors, and I believe
this
Linking Words
 trend is a positive one. The current economic landscape, marked by high living
cost
Fix the agreement mistake
costs
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, motionless wage growth, and risky job markets,
compel
Correct subject-verb agreement
compels
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 many young individuals to opt for the financial safety net that living with
parents
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 provides.
This
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 burden of rent, utility bills, and daily expenses is significantly alleviated when they stay at home, allowing them to save money, pay off student loans, or
accumulates
Correct subject-verb agreement
accumulate
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 funds for future investments,
such
Linking Words
 as purchasing their home.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the cultural and familial expectations in many societies play a crucial role in
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
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 living arrangements. In many cultures, living with one's family until marriage or even beyond is not only accepted but encouraged.
This
Linking Words
 tradition stems from a
deep rooted
Add a hyphen
deep-rooted
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 emphasis
family
Change preposition
on family
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 living arrangements. Young
adults
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,
therefore
Linking Words
, choose to stay with their
parents
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due to
Linking Words
 a sense of duty or the desire to care for
aging
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ageing
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parents
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 in these societies. In my view, there are undeniable positives. Living with
parents
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 can offer a unique opportunity for young
adults
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 to strengthen familial relationships and enjoy a support system that
extend
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extends
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 beyond financial benefits.
This
Linking Words
 period can be particularly valuable for personal growth, as it allows young individuals to navigate late adulthood with
a
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apply
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supervision that can lessen their failures and celebrate successes. The emotional and psychological support provided by
parents
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 during
this
Linking Words
 time can boost confidence and resilience in young
adults
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. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 the decision to live with
parents
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 into late adulthood is multifaceted, involving economic realities and cultural norms,
it's
Change the verb form
it also offers
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also
Linking Words
 offers a foundational support system that can be pivotal for personal development and future independence.
Submitted by jvirk2468 on

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Structure
Your introduction and conclusion are well-structured, clearly setting the stage for your argument and summarizing your points effectively.
Logical flow
You have a strong logical structure throughout your essay, which aids in the clear presentation of your ideas.
Task Response
The essay provides a clear and comprehensive response to the task, demonstrating a good understanding of the topic.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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