IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Crime rate in most countries is often higher in urban areas than rural areas. What are the causes and solutions?

#crime #rate #countries #areas
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Crime
Use synonyms
 has been increasing in cities
where
Correct word choice
that
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 overcrowded.
This
Linking Words
 is mainly because of
large
Change the article
a large
the large
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number
Use synonyms
 of
people
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 and unemployment in developed
areas
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. There are a
number
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 of solutions which should
be implement
Change the verb form
be implemented
show examples
 to deal with rising
crime
Use synonyms
 in urban
areas
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.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the reason why
crime
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higher
Add a missing verb
is higher
show examples
 in urban
areas
Use synonyms
 than in
countryside
Correct article usage
the countryside
show examples
 is
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 large
number
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 who have not been taught
due to
Linking Words
 overpopulation in some countries.
In other words
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
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lack
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
knowledge where they are unable to show their abilities and sometimes they are involved in
crime
Use synonyms
 to get easy money.
For instance
Linking Words
, India is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 developed country and
meanwhile
Add a comma
meanwhile,
show examples
crime
Use synonyms
 has been rising because of overcrowded of illiterate
people
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.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
insufficient
Correct article usage
an insufficient
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 of jobs
also
Linking Words
 leads to growing
offenders
Correct quantifier usage
number of offenders
show examples
 who have to steal to survive.
As a result
Linking Words
, urban
areas
Use synonyms
 always have
issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
show examples
 with increasing
crime
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. There are two effective solutions to the problem of high
crime
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. One way to tackle
this
Linking Words
 is to ensure that refugees are taken control by the
government
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 after crossing the border and
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
not let everyone enter the country without
reasons
Fix the agreement mistake
reason
show examples
. To illustrate,
great
Change the article
a great
the great
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number
Use synonyms
 of
people
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 want to get into
United
Correct article usage
the United
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 Kingdom,
however
Linking Words
,
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government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 does not allow to do it for everyone. So, by doing
this
Linking Words
, it will help citizens to be
safety
Replace the word
safe
show examples
. Another method is
supporting
Replace the word
support
show examples
 from the
government
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 which provides
subsidy
Fix the agreement mistake
subsidies
show examples
 for
people
Use synonyms
 who have ideas to implement. It can reduce unemployment among citizens and foreigners because if they hired other
people
Use synonyms
 to work on their projects it would provide workplaces.
This
Linking Words
 solution would hopefully prevent
crime
Use synonyms
 in urban
areas
Use synonyms
 which is rising day by day. In conclusion, close observation
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 each entering person and subsidy from the
government
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 or investors are effective in dealing with
this
Linking Words
 issue. If
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 implemented
Linking Words
this solutions
Change the determiner
this solution
these solutions
show examples
,
crime
Use synonyms
 in urban
areas
Use synonyms
 would soon drop.
Submitted by s_syedy on

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sentence variety
Consider using a wider range of sentence structures to improve clarity and richness of your essay. Diverse sentence constructions can make your arguments more compelling.
idea development
Ensure to accurately develop your ideas with clear and logical explanations. This includes connecting causes with their direct impact and expanding on how suggested solutions address the issue effectively.
accuracy
Review your essay for typographical and grammatical errors. Although minor, these mistakes can impact the readability of your essay. Consistent accuracy is key to a higher score.
topic understanding
You effectively identified key reasons for higher crime rates in urban areas and proposed viable solutions, demonstrating a good understanding of the essay topic.
organizational skill
Your essay structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs each discussing a cause and solution, followed by a conclusion, showcases good organizational skills.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • anonymity
  • social cohesion
  • socioeconomic disparities
  • desperation
  • urban stressors
  • mental health
  • community policing
  • job opportunities
  • poverty
  • inequality
  • public spaces
  • surveillance cameras
  • deterrent
  • recidivism
  • reintegration programs
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