Some people think that the increase in international travel has a negative impact on the environment and should be restricted. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Recently some individuals argued that growing global
travel
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is damaging the
environment
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. I partially agree with the claim. Because, International
travel
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despite some negative points,
Linking Words
however
Add the comma(s)
however,
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positive influence is
also
Linking Words
remarkable. On the one hand, increasing the number of international trips might harm the
environment
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. It means, those who want to go do
travel
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across the world might make some footprint anywhere they want to go.
For example
Linking Words
, tourists want to go to another
country
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to visit some historical place and
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apply
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throughout
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apply
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the rubbish.
Moreover
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, when a large number of
tourism
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tourists
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go to some
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
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they need transport as some vehicles use oil and petrol
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as
Correct word choice
and as
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a result air pollution might increase.
Therefore
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, growing international
travel
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harms the
environment
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.
On the other hand
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, increasing global trips
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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several
advantages
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for people
in
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apply
show examples
personally and
also
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for the
host
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country
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.
For instance
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, some individuals who
travel
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around the world are more mature and knowledgeable as they might communicate with multicultural people.
Furthermore
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, growing large overseas to the
host
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country
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helps the economy of the
host
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country
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.
For example
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, when a large number of students come to Australia, they need to pay for the accommodation rent is economically advantageous.
Consequently
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, growing international travels have many
advantages
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.
To conclude
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, growing international
travel
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is harmful to the
environment
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. I just half agree with the argument because
travel
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globally has some positive
advantages
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for individual growth and economic
advantages
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for the
host
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country
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.
Submitted by hsmkashi on

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coherence cohesion
A key strength in your essay is the structure, including a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. A suggestion would be to further enhance the cohesiveness by using more varied and complex linking words and phrases.
task achievement
Your essay presents both sides of the argument, which demonstrates an understanding of the task. To improve, ensure a more balanced development of ideas across the essay, and try to offer deeper analysis and more detailed examples to support your points.
language
There are some instances of grammatical inaccuracies and awkward phrasing. Working on these aspects would improve the clarity and effectiveness of your writing.
structure
Structured essay with clear sections (introduction, body, conclusion).
content coverage
Addresses the prompt with arguments for both viewpoints.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • carbon footprint
  • biodiversity
  • ecosystem
  • sustainable travel
  • eco-friendly
  • carbon emissions
  • habitat destruction
  • cultural dilution
  • overcrowding
  • resource depletion
  • sustainable
  • environmental impact
  • tourism ethics
  • green initiatives
  • conservation efforts
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