Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook, Zalo,...) have a negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #sites #facebook #zalo #impact #individuals #society

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Nowadays, most of the interpersonal communication takes place online. More and more

people

decide to use social

media

rather than meet face-to-face with friends. I believe, that

such

an approach has a negative impact on individuals

as well as

society

. There have been many examples that prove my point. The most significant of them is the fact that social networking sites make

people

more isolated from each other.

For instance

, since it is much more convenient to communicate via the Internet, many individuals prefer to stay at home and chat with their relatives,

consequently

, becoming alienated from the rest of

society

Furthermore

, it makes

people

lazy. Normally, if you want to hang out with your friends you have to prepare yourself, leave home, and be more organised in general;

in contrast

while

using social

media

all you need to do is take your mobile device and send a text.

In addition

such

an approach has

also

many relevant drawbacks for

society

Firstly

people

stop trusting each other in real life. Since all normal interactions are replaced by social

media

people

no longer feel the necessity to care about each other in the real world,

therefore

, social bands are disappearing.

Moreover

, they may start to feel endangered by each other. Networking sites not only

Verb problem

apply

show examples

allow for communication but

also

constitute a place where social polarization grows, as

people

feel less responsible for what they write online, which can result in tensions between them. In conclusion, depriving yourself of the opportunity to speak with others in the real world has many significant disadvantages.

While

individuals can become more isolated and lazy, the whole

society

can suffer from a lack of trust and an increase in polarization;

thus

, in my opinion, social

media

have an

overall

negative influence.

Submitted by kuba.glogowski on Wed Sep 25 2024

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language

To achieve higher scores, you could enhance the essay by introducing more varied vocabulary and sentence structures. This would make the essay more engaging and demonstrate a higher level of language proficiency.

task response

Another improvement can be made by including counterarguments and then refuting them. This would show a more balanced and critical understanding of the topic.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear and concise introduction and conclusion, making it easy to follow the author's viewpoint.

task response

The main points are well-supported with relevant examples, giving strength to the arguments made.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

296 words

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Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook, Zalo,...) have a negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think that the most practical way to become a professional is to gain practical experience in this field. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that printed books are no longer necessary in this digital era as all writings can be sored alectronically. Others think that printed books still play an important role. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The use of social media such as Facebook or Twitter is replacing face-to-face contact this century. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?