Some people think that teenagers should make their own decisions, while others think that they are not mature enough and parents should make decisions for them. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Whether
parents
or
teenagers
should be responsible for making
decisions
bears some consideration.
This
essay agrees that it is more beneficial for young people to make their own
life
choices
due to
succeeding in
life
and taking responsibility for their actions rather than allowing
parents
to control important
decisions
. It must be recognized that
teenagers
should be trusted to make
decisions
independently.
This
is because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
they must live
wit there
Correct your spelling
with their
show examples
choices for the rest of their
life
.
As a result
,
of
Correct your spelling
if
show examples
young people
following
Wrong verb form
follow
show examples
their own direction,
thay
Correct your spelling
they
can be successful in many walks of
life
and more importantly be happy.
Therefore
, it is easy to understand why
teenagers
should be free to make their own
decisions
However
, some
parents
say that
teenagers
are not mature enough to make
life changing
Add a hyphen
life-changing
show examples
decisions
.
This
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
belief is based on
teenagers
making
baf
Correct your spelling
bad
decisions
in their parent's eyes.
For
this
reason,
parents
plsn
Correct your spelling
plan
their child's
life
for them, whether they it or not.
This
point may be true, but
teenagers
need to start making
decisions
for themselves,
otherwise
, they will always depend on their
parents
.
This
writer believes that
teenagers
must take responsibility for their own choices.
This
is
due to
the fact that being
resonsible
Correct your spelling
responsible
means that
teenagers
become more independent and learn
hoe
Correct your spelling
how
show examples
those
decisions
impact their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. Because of
this
,
parents
should trust their children so that they can develop and not become reliant on them later in
life
.
Thus
, becoming successful and not being over-reliant on
parents
are essential points that need to be considered.
Hence
, it should
hace
Correct your spelling
have
been shown that
parents
must be confident that their children will make the right
decisions
.

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Grammar
Proofread your work to correct minor grammatical errors and typos. Correcting phrases like 'wit there choices' to 'with their choices' can greatly enhance the clarity of your essay.
Style
Try to incorporate a variety of sentence structures and more sophisticated vocabulary to elevate the quality of your writing.
Content
Integrating more specific examples or evidence to support your arguments can strengthen your essay and make your points more convincing.
Task Response
The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing both views and providing a clear personal stance.
Coherence
Overall logical structure is strong, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs for each view, and a conclusion summarizing the writer's opinion.
Cohesion
The essay presents main points that are generally well-supported and easy to follow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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