Nowadays, many people believe that entities are relying on each other. However, Others assume that people have the reverse feature.
Nowadays, many
people
believe that entities are relying on each other. However
, Others assume that people
have the reverse feature. This
writer agrees with the second statement and will discuss both views in the following essay.
Generally, it can be seen that people
become better from learning other precursor's experience , so they can achieve foundation skills or advanced skills. Therefore
, they can develop themselves in unique ways, and find the most suitable direction on their own. For instance
, referring to other directions, people
become wiser and have more selection.
However
, despite the fact that many people
skid other's ideas reflects the lack of brainstorming. Therefore
, their cognition will not develop, they are willing to copy in all situations. Moreover
, they can not make any decisions in different situations. For instance
, people
who don't have their own ideas, easily break down on the way to success, so they can't find their own aim so they hard to select .
In conclusion, people
must consider whether to refer to or copy others. When they can distinguish they can be independent.Submitted by nguyenkhuyenhcmcs4k11 on
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Introduction Clarity
You have a good grasp on structuring your argument with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. However, ensure that your introduction more explicitly states your opinion to guide the reader.
Topic Focus
Ensure your essay remains focused on the prompt's topic. Some parts of your essay slightly divert from the main argument. Staying on topic is crucial for coherence.
Example Elaboration
Work on elaborating your examples more. Your essay brings in relevant examples, but they need to be explained and connected to your main points more clearly and comprehensively.
Paragraph Transition
Your essay demonstrates an understanding of complex ideas but sometimes lacks clear transitions and connections between paragraphs. Using transitional phrases can help improve the flow of your writing.
Complex Sentences
Good use of complex sentence structures to articulate ideas.
Task Fulfillment
Effort made to discuss both viewpoints, which is positive for task fulfillment.
Relevant Examples
Some examples are relevant and contribute to supporting the argument.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite