students should pay the full cost for their own study, because university education benefits individuals rather than society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

More people think after studying at universities,
students
will earn
money
for
them
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
show examples
instead
of benefiting
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
society, so there are arguments
happend
Verb problem
apply
show examples
that
students
should pay
money
for the fees. In my opinion, I disagree with that, follow
this
below to know the reasons why I think that. Studying at universities brings more benefits for
students
in the future, but not only that, they will forget some things that governments helped them.
Example
Change preposition
For example
show examples
, more
students
choose
working
Change the verb form
to work
show examples
for the governments or their countries
instead
of foreign companies,
although
they know working at foreign ones will get more
money
, or be rich.
Furthermore
, if having to pay
full
Add an article
the full
show examples
cost, more
students
will not continue
stuying
Correct your spelling
studying
staying
at
schools
Fix the agreement mistake
school
show examples
or more, because not more families have enough
money
to pay fees for all their children,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
will make children just
wanting
Wrong verb form
want
show examples
to stop studying soon.
Having more
Unnecessary verb
More
show examples
students
think that because they do not have to spend anything
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
that, they can play more that do not worry
anything
Change preposition
about anything
show examples
, so more situations
dropped
Wrong verb form
drop
show examples
out of school because of that.
Additionally
, with low
salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
show examples
,
do
Verb problem
there are
show examples
not
have
Verb problem
apply
show examples
enough
students
would
Correct pronoun usage
who would
show examples
like to study
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
that career. Can see carefully that nowadays, there are more and more universities
lack
Correct pronoun usage
that lack
show examples
teachers to teach, and they just hope
about creating
Change preposition
to create
show examples
AI teachers in the future. In conclusion,
this
argument
also
has a correct and
uncorrect
Correct your spelling
incorrect
part, but I still disagree with
this
situation.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Make sure to clearly state your thesis in the introduction and directly answer the question.
task achievement
Develop your arguments with a clear structure: introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, ensuring each paragraph has a clear main idea.
task achievement
Use examples specifically related to the prompt to support your arguments. This makes your essay more convincing and tied to the task.
coherence cohesion
Work on creating more logical transitions between paragraphs to improve the flow of your essay. This helps in making your argumentation clearer and more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Review your essay for any grammatical errors or typos to ensure clarity and professionalism in your writing.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present and provide a general response to the topic.
task achievement
You have tackled the prompt with a clear stance, showing an understanding of the question.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • beneficiary
  • accountability
  • economic mobility
  • social inequalities
  • subsidized education
  • vocational training
  • deliberate choice
  • earning potential
  • public funding
  • societal benefits
  • innovation
  • self-financing
  • social mobility
  • economic equality
  • grants
  • scholarships
What to do next:
Look at other essays: