IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Students should pay the full cost for their own study , because university education benefits individuals rather than society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There is a common view that tuition
fee
Fix the agreement mistake
fees
show examples
 should be paid
the
Change preposition
at the
show examples
 full
cost
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
Use synonyms
study
Correct article usage
the study
show examples
process
Use synonyms
 by
students
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
 the beneficial individuals for university education rather than society.
This
Linking Words
 essay
disagree
Change the verb form
disagrees
show examples
 with
this
Linking Words
 statement and I believe that
supporting
Replace the word
support
show examples
 from society is the better option for
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
. Nowadays,
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
paying the full
cost
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
Use synonyms
study
Correct article usage
the study
show examples
process
Use synonyms
 by yourself is advantageous for
students
Use synonyms
. It can be seen that the amount of money
spending
Replace the word
spent
show examples
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 education would be
values
Wrong verb form
valued
show examples
 if
their
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 made an attempt
doing
Change the verb form
to do
show examples
 hard
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
,
also
Linking Words
their
Replace the word
there
show examples
 can make
motivation
Add an article
the motivation
show examples
 for them to try hard and pay attention
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 learning.
Additionally
Linking Words
, it
also
Linking Words
 has more
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
opportunities for
students
Use synonyms
’ dependence, which
enhance
Correct subject-verb agreement
enhances
show examples
 the ability to manage time and learn how to balance between the job and
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
 of
study
Use synonyms
. As
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
results
Fix the agreement mistake
result
show examples
,
students
Use synonyms
 can be free
developed
Change the verb form
to develop
show examples
 themselves and express
oneself
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
show examples
, which is the
elements
Fix the agreement mistake
element
show examples
 for
influence
Correct subject-verb agreement
influences
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
process
Use synonyms
 of human
grown
Replace the word
growth
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, there are more beneficial for
students
Use synonyms
 to have assistance from society than paying
Use synonyms
cost
Fix the agreement mistake
costs
show examples
 from
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 is because
students
Use synonyms
 should focus on the education universities
instead
Linking Words
 of working hard to get money,
also
Linking Words
 if they wanted to
response
Replace the word
respond
show examples
all
Change preposition
to all
show examples
 the price of
study
Use synonyms
, it would pay a fortune.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mental and
physic
Replace the word
physical
show examples
 will be affected
to
Change preposition
by
show examples
 their lead to hinder the
developed
Replace the word
development
show examples
grown
Verb problem
of growth
show examples
, so you will be exhausted and dominate the
study
Use synonyms
process
Use synonyms
. Scholarships
are helping
Wrong verb form
help
show examples
 mental
students
Use synonyms
 aspect, it will
proving
Verb problem
provide
show examples
 motivation,
feel
Fix the infinitive
to feel
show examples
relax
Wrong verb form
relaxed
show examples
 when not heavily
about
Correct word choice
concerned about
show examples
 money. After graduation, you can pay back for the government and go on your work. Taking all points into
accounts
Fix the agreement mistake
account
show examples
, the possibility of paying all
Use synonyms
cost
Fix the agreement mistake
costs
show examples
 for studying is very difficult
by
Change preposition
for
show examples
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
.
Thus
Linking Words
, getting
scholarship
Correct article usage
a scholarship
show examples
 from
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 is the best option

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure to directly address the question statement in your introduction and throughout your essay to strengthen task achievement.
coherence cohesion
Work on organizing your ideas more clearly. Use paragraphs to separate your main points and make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and supporting sentences.
task achievement
Provide specific examples to support your arguments. This will make your essay more persuasive and fulfill the task achievement criteria more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of sentence structures and vocabulary to articulate your ideas more clearly and enhance coherence.
task achievement
You've presented a balanced view, considering both sides of the argument, which is good for a comprehensive essay.
coherence cohesion
You made an effort to conclude your essay with a summary of your main points and your personal stance, which helps with coherence.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • beneficiary
  • accountability
  • economic mobility
  • social inequalities
  • subsidized education
  • vocational training
  • deliberate choice
  • earning potential
  • public funding
  • societal benefits
  • innovation
  • self-financing
  • social mobility
  • economic equality
  • grants
  • scholarships
What to do next:
Look at other essays: