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Band 7

Students should pay the full cost for their own study, bcause university education benefits individuals rather than society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#students #cost #study #bcause #university #education #individuals #society
Nowadays, tuition fees can be costed for
students
 to
study
 at university in
lots
 of ways. Some think that
students
 need to spend their own
money
 paying for all their studies. I personally agree that the government investing
money
 for individuals to
study
 will be better It is true that paying the school dee by oneself has various advantages.
Firstly
, it is the motivation for people to try their best in studying because they know that school fees are not cheap so they have to get a good result with their worthy
money
.
Secondly
, paying the cost of academic education will make them more mature. The reason is that
students
 can learn how to manage
money
 and keep track of personal expenditures wisely.
As a result
, these individuals should gain success easily and improve their quality of life stably.
On the other hand
, I argue that it is more beneficial for
students
 to have allowances from society to
study
. It is a fact that depending on different aspects of the student's family condition. Some are the poor who are not able to pay tuition fees but are gifted
students
. If these potential
students
 do not go to university, their nations will lose their future talents.
As a result
, the country's economy will never develop because there are no intelligent people.
Furthermore
, a scholarship is
also
 an opportunity for poor but excellent
students
 to
study
 and have a good reputation and career in the future. If there are no grants,
lots
 of people can not have a better life in the present day because of their poverty in the past. For the reasons mentioned above, there are
lots
 of benefits to paying for courses at universities by oneself.
However
, I believe that individuals and
also
 society will have
lots
 of advantages if allowance is applied to
students
.
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Grammar and Vocabulary
Consider revising minor grammatical errors and wording for clarity, such as 'costed' instead of 'cost' and 'school dee' instead of 'school fee'.
Content Depth
Elaborate further on your arguments with more detailed examples to strengthen your position.
Coherence
To enhance coherence, ensure smoother transitions between paragraphs with linking words.
Content Balance
The essay provides a well-balanced view with arguments for both perspectives.
Effective Conclusion
Your conclusion succinctly summarizes your stance, demonstrating an effective task response.
Argument Clarity
Good job on providing specific reasons to support your views, enhancing the clarity of your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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