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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people think that students should study the science of food and how to prepare it. Others think students should spend on important subjects. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #students #study #science #food #subjects
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The perspectives on what
students
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 have to learn knowledge about
food
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 vary widely. Some people believe that it is worthwhile to spend time acquiring the science and the preparation methods of
food
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,
while
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 some argue that investing in other crucial subjects is better. In
this
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 essay, I will explore both viewpoints and explain why I strongly agree with the latter argument. On the one hand, knowing how to prepare meals on their own saves
students
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'
food
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 expenses.
It is clear that
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 dining out at a restaurant typically costs much more than purchasing groceries.
In addition
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,
food
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 from restaurants often fails to contain balanced nutrition. Take McDonald's
for instance
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, lacking vitamins and minerals
while
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 excessive use of oil can be observed in all the meals, which causes youngsters to suffer from chronic diseases
such
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 as obesity, diabetes, and hypertension.
However
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, individuals can be injured by knives or other utensils in the kitchen when cooking themselves, or even leading to fatal accidents like fire disasters.
On the other hand
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, since the majority of
students
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 will not pursue a career as a chef, the precious time spent on learning about
food
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 can be replaced with subjects related to one’s dream job in the future.
This
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 transformation enhances the competitiveness of a country, as
students
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 are expected to be more productive if focusing only on topics that they are indeed passionate about. In conclusion,
although
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 studying
food
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 science allows
students
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 to save money and
to
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apply
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consume balanced diets, it comes with some potential dangers.
In contrast
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, spending time on other subjects benefits the whole society as people can be well-prepared before entering the workplace.
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task achievement
Provide a more balanced consideration of both views in the essay to strengthen your task response. While your arguments are well presented, addressing why people think studying food science is essential in more detail would have provided more complete coverage of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Work on the logical flow between paragraphs for higher coherence. Though the essay is generally cohesive, enhancing the transitions between ideas will create a smoother narrative.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively outlining and summarizing your stance.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples to support your arguments, such as mentioning McDonald's as an example of unbalanced nutrition.
task achievement
Your ideas are articulated clearly, and the use of cause-and-effect reasoning strengthens your points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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