Some people argue that art, such as paintings and music are a waste of money and and the government should spend this money on pubic service To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Most

people

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tend to think that the

government

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have to prioritize the usage of its money on public services rather than spending it on

art

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, like paintings and music. In my opinion, I side with that argument for several reasons.

To begin

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with,

art

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may provide some advantages to a state, even a country. The types of

art

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such

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as paintings and music, could attract local or even foreign tourists to visit the city or country, which

this

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situation could give more and more extra income to the city from the tourism

sector

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. So, an incentive from the

government

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to artists or parties which have responsibility for it might play an essential role in developing all of the

art

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potential in the community.

Thus

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, it may not only make a financial benefit for the city

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apply

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but

also

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for the local

people

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there.

In contrast

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, the

government

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has to

also

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be wiser in spending its expenses. It must consider the priority of the

people

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's needs on its territory. Something that relates to many

people

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such

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as the public

service

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sector

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also

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becomes an important thing.

For example

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, good public transport can have an impact on all parties connecting from one place to another, which can give easier and cheaper costs in the accommodation

sector

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. Because all the cities are fully connected at affordable cost, it can impact the daily needs of

people

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Thus

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, it

also

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can affect the welfare of the community.

In addition

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, the good public

service

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sector

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also

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gives additional benefits to the tourism

sector

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For example

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, the ease of the public

service

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sector

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also

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becomes a vital consideration for tourists visiting the areas they go

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to.

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To sum up

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art

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can be a beneficial thing to increase the annual income of the

government

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However

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, the

government

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has to consider the prioritization of its expenses related to its community condition. So, I remain convinced that giving allocation to the public

service

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sector

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will have more impact than the

art

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sector

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dika2024Wed May 08 2024

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style

To enhance your essay, try varying your sentence structures more frequently. This adds complexity and interest to your writing.

content

Consider introducing more specific examples to strengthen your arguments further. Specific examples add depth and persuasiveness to your essay.

accuracy

Pay attention to minor grammatical errors and typos to improve the overall readability of your text. Proofreading can help catch these slips.

structure

Your essay presents a well-structured argument, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.

balance

You successfully maintained a balance between discussing art and public services, showing both sides of the argument.

logic

Your reasoning is supported by logical explanations, which strengthens your position.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

331 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

preservation
vital
essential components
fostering
continuity
economic benefits
job creation
psychological benefits
stress reduction
promote creativity
enhancement
balanced approach
complements
innovation
crucial skills
government investment
societal role
tourists
local spending
public services

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Some people argue that art, such as paintings and music are a waste of money and and the government should spend this money on pubic service To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

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