Some people argue that art, such as paintings and music are a waste of money and and the government should spend this money on pubic service To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Most
people
Use synonyms
tend to think that the
government
Use synonyms
have to prioritize the usage of its money on public services rather than spending it on
art
Use synonyms
, like paintings and music. In my opinion, I side with that argument for several reasons.
To begin
Linking Words
with,
art
Use synonyms
may provide some advantages to a state, even a country. The types of
art
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
as paintings and music, could attract local or even foreign tourists to visit the city or country, which
this
Linking Words
situation could give more and more extra income to the city from the tourism
sector
Use synonyms
. So, an incentive from the
government
Use synonyms
to artists or parties which have responsibility for it might play an essential role in developing all of the
art
Use synonyms
potential in the community.
Thus
Linking Words
, it may not only make a financial benefit for the city
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but
also
Linking Words
for the local
people
Use synonyms
there.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the
government
Use synonyms
has to
also
Linking Words
be wiser in spending its expenses. It must consider the priority of the
people
Use synonyms
's needs on its territory. Something that relates to many
people
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
as the public
service
Use synonyms
sector
Use synonyms
,
also
Linking Words
becomes an important thing.
For example
Linking Words
, good public transport can have an impact on all parties connecting from one place to another, which can give easier and cheaper costs in the accommodation
sector
Use synonyms
. Because all the cities are fully connected at affordable cost, it can impact the daily needs of
people
Use synonyms
.
Thus
Linking Words
, it
also
Linking Words
can affect the welfare of the community.
In addition
Linking Words
, the good public
service
Use synonyms
sector
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
gives additional benefits to the tourism
sector
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, the ease of the public
service
Use synonyms
sector
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
becomes a vital consideration for tourists visiting the areas they go
.
Change preposition
to.
show examples
To sum up
Linking Words
,
art
Use synonyms
can be a beneficial thing to increase the annual income of the
government
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, the
government
Use synonyms
has to consider the prioritization of its expenses related to its community condition. So, I remain convinced that giving allocation to the public
service
Use synonyms
sector
Use synonyms
will have more impact than the
art
Use synonyms
sector
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

style
To enhance your essay, try varying your sentence structures more frequently. This adds complexity and interest to your writing.
content
Consider introducing more specific examples to strengthen your arguments further. Specific examples add depth and persuasiveness to your essay.
accuracy
Pay attention to minor grammatical errors and typos to improve the overall readability of your text. Proofreading can help catch these slips.
structure
Your essay presents a well-structured argument, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
balance
You successfully maintained a balance between discussing art and public services, showing both sides of the argument.
logic
Your reasoning is supported by logical explanations, which strengthens your position.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • preservation
  • vital
  • essential components
  • fostering
  • continuity
  • economic benefits
  • job creation
  • psychological benefits
  • stress reduction
  • promote creativity
  • enhancement
  • balanced approach
  • complements
  • innovation
  • crucial skills
  • government investment
  • societal role
  • tourists
  • local spending
  • public services
What to do next:
Look at other essays: