New technologies and ways of buying and selling are transforming the lives of consumers. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

It is argued that the rapid of technology has revolutionized the way people shop.
However
, there is a drawback to
this
phenomenon.
However
, I strongly agree that the shift in buyer
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
due to
technology provides some advantages.
To begin
with, the transformation of consumer
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
in buying and selling causes conventional shops to lose their consumers and
markets
.
This
is because most people prefer to buy products on some modern platform,
such
as online applications and websites.
As a result
, if the sellers do not improve their ways to pull the consumers, they will lose their
markets
.
For instance
, some traditional
markets
in Indonesia are closed
due to
the minimum transaction.
This
means that there is a major change in the methods of sale and purchase transactions.
However
, despite
this
drawback, there are some advantages associated with
this
new trend. One of the most important benefits of the change of the transaction is effortless for both buyers and sellers. The presence of some applications and websites allows the seller to show their products in order to make the buyers more interested. They only just capture their items and
then
upload them on a certain platform, complete with some details descriptions, and the price.
On the other hand
, the buyers are
also
just looking for their desired items through their mobile phones and they
also
could make a payment on their platforms.
This
means that both consumers and owners could make a transaction without going and standing by at the conventional
markets
or shops. In conclusion, I firmly agree that
this
trend would make people more practical to buy and sell products using new technology methods.
Although
there is a drawback to
this
trend, I believe that potential demerits could be overcome with proper management and policies.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
The essay shows a good understanding of the topic, and the position taken is clear. However, try to ensure that every paragraph communicates a single, clear idea without repetition. For instance, avoid using the phrase "However" twice in the introduction.
coherence cohesion
Use varied sentence structures and vocabulary to make the essay more engaging. This will help in conveying ideas more effectively and avoid redundancy.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in framing the discussion properly.
task achievement
The essay provides relevant examples to support the main points, making the arguments more concrete.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • transforming
  • consumers
  • buying and selling
  • new technologies
  • revolutionized
  • consumer experience
  • e-commerce
  • convenience
  • range of options
  • mobile payment systems
  • transactions
  • challenges
What to do next:
Look at other essays: