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Band 7.5

Some people think that governments should use the money to provide faster means of public transport, while others are concerned that there are many more important priorities than public transport. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #governments #money #transport #priorities
One school of thought holds that the local authorities should allocate funds to provide faster public
transportation
,
while
 others believe that the government should concentrate on another field.
This
 essay attempts to shed light on both the merits and demerits of
this
 tendency before concluding that I am in favour of the latter notion. On the one hand, improving the quality of means of public transport could be advantageous to a certain extent.
Firstly
,
this
 trend could help
this
 nation control air pollution.
For instance
, if the government pays more attention to enhancing the quality of buses or trains, thereby creating a wave among residents, they would make public
transportation
 their top priority.
As a result
, it could reduce the quantity of gas emissions from gas vehicles, which could decrease the prevalence of air pollution in
this
 area.
Secondly
, faster public
transportation
 could make it easier for locals to come to their work offices. To be more specific, the more the population uses public transport, the less traffic congestion happens. Thanks to that, workers could come to their corporation on time, and sometimes it even helps to enhance their emotions,
such
 as pleasure and relationships, in
this
 day and age.
On the other hand
, there are a host of compelling reasons as to why I am convinced governments should prioritize other fields rather than
transportation
. One key rationale in favour of
this
 view is that they could spend more money on developing amenities in
this
 nation. Specifically, the local authorities should allocate more funds to build more facilities,
such
 as schools, museums, and numerous recreational places for citizens, thereby enhancing the living standard and attracting more tourists to
this
 area. Another justification is that they should focus on unemployment issues in
this
 country.
For instance
, they could offer more job opportunities for the unemployed, facilitate for the underprivileged to go to school and help them make ends meet, or even open up doors for top-notch professors to enrich their knowledge. In conclusion,
while
 it is irrefutable that improving the means of public transport could have some upsides, I would contend that the government should concentrate more on other important majors
instead
 of
transportation
.
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task achievement
To further enhance your task achievement score, consider providing more specific examples and details to support your main points. This would make your arguments stronger and more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and avoid merging multiple points into one paragraph. This will make your essay easier to follow and more coherent.
coherence cohesion
While your conclusion is effective, a slightly more detailed summary of the main points discussed could strengthen the overall cohesiveness of your essay.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear and comprehensive response to the task by discussing both views and providing a well-defined opinion.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is logically structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, which contributes to the overall coherence and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
The main points are generally well-supported, and the essay maintains a good flow throughout.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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