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Band 5.5

The ,aps below show recent changes in the town of Kimsville. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#aps #show #changes #town #kimsville #information #features #comparisons
The given maps illustrate the main changes which have taken place in the town of Kimsville from 1980 until now. In general, it appears that the city has become a much more modern city, with some welfare services and amusing facilities which in past it was surrounded by walls and had gates,
nonetheless
, all of them have been removed
accordingly
. One interesting change is that some trees on the northeast of the city have been removed and chairs and desks,
as well as
 a barbecue, have been built so that people have some space for their leisure time. Today,
instead
 of flowers which were on the north of the pond, some bushes were planned which take up a lot of space.
Moreover
, Another striking change is that there didn’t use to be a playground for children and adolescents, but it was built
instead
 of flowers on the southeast of Kimsville.
Finally
, If we look at the pond area, a bench has been added so that individuals have a comfortable environment to sit and observe a pleasant view. The roads have become curves.
Submitted by hoseinyasemi.ir on

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task achievement
Your work efficiently provides an overall summary and captures the main changes in Kimsville, showing good task achievement. However, expanding on the comparison of past and present, and perhaps including more detailed examples, could enhance the clarity and depth of your evaluation.
coherence cohesion
You've laid out the essay logically, starting with a general overview followed by specific changes. To further improve coherence, consider linking your ideas more clearly between paragraphs with transitional phrases. This would make the flow of information even smoother for the reader.
language
You've used a range of vocabulary appropriately but broadening this range with specific descriptive words would enrich your text. Also, pay attention to minor grammatical errors and try to vary your sentence structures for more sophisticated writing.
task achievement
Efficient summary of changes in Kimsville.
content
Good use of specific examples to demonstrate changes.
coherence cohesion
Logical structure of introduction, development, and conclusion.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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