Some people desire to travel or work for a period of time instead of going directly to the university. Does the advantages outwiegh to disadvantages?

#people #desire #travel #work #period #time #university #outwiegh

In today's era, some students who graduate from school want to travel or

work

for a period of time rather than going immediately to

university

This

action has some pros that will outweigh the cons.

This

essay intends to express the advantages of travel or

work

before starting

university

To begin

with, it is better to have some

work

experience

before starting a faculty. Because

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

it helps the person to learn better that subject and makes the person familiar with lessons.

Hence

, the student will learn the subject only with a one-time review or one-time lecturing by the instructor.

For instance

, some

people

before starting the faculty of Pharmacy

work

in a small clinic at least they learn how to inject or how to bandage a wound.

In addition

, generally travelling is a good

experience

in all aspects of our life.

Traveling

Change the spelling

Travelling

show examples

contributes to our learning as well because

while

visiting foreign countries we will

experience

new adventures

additionally

on some trips we will face

delimma

Correct your spelling

dilemma

. The

people

who have not travelled in their entire life

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

do not know about hardship and the

people

who have not seen hard situations will not try to become stronger and will not pay enough attention to their education. To exemplify

this

statement, today most rich and successful

people

have passed a hard situation and travelling

also

has a lot of difficulties. Summing up, many

people

are eager to

work

or travel for a

while

before starting

university

According to

the mentioned points in

this

essay and my personal and logical perceptions, it is better to have some trips or

work

experience

before starting

university

Submitted by amotoh10 on Wed May 08 2024

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Coherence & Cohesion

Consider diversifying the sentence structures to add complexity and flow to your essay. This can make your arguments more persuasive and your writing more engaging.

Task Achievement

Including a wider range of examples and evidence could strengthen your arguments further. Try incorporating specific studies or statistics to support your points.

Coherence & Cohesion

You have presented a clear thesis statement and structured your essay effectively, with a logical flow of ideas.

Task Achievement

You provided relevant examples to support your main points, making your arguments more convincing.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

272 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people desire to travel or work for a period of time instead of going directly to the university. Does the advantages outwiegh to disadvantages?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people believe that reading stories from a book is better than watching TV or playing computer games for children. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many countries, traditional dress and costumes are considered effective way of maintaining links with the past. How effective can traditional costumer be, in this sense? What other ways exit to help citizens connect with a country’s past?

Today whereas some people advocate that players must have physical strenght, others argue that mental skills are much important. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

You recently returned from oversea by air and left a valuable item on the plane. Write a letter to the airline manager. In your letter .Describe the item you left behind .Say why it is important to you .Explain what you would like the airline manager to do Write at least 150 words.