Many people around the world use social media everyday to keep in touh with other people and get news events. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvanatages?

Recently, social news has been used to keep in contact with the community and get
clue
Fix the agreement mistake
clues
show examples
.
While
this
trend has some advantages, I believe that the negative effects of
this
trend are far more significant.
To begin
with, many
society
Change to a plural noun
societies
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assume that it is convenient to use social publishing to chat with friends and get info.
This
is because nowadays, all human activities are mostly based on social platforms. To illustrate
this
point, many
people
are using Facebook to communicate and exchange data with their friends every day and they can
also
get news by surfing the net.
As a result
, the community can chat with other
people
and get new statistics without any distance difficulty. It must be acknowledged that
this
tendency has a negative effect on the bond between humans.
For
this
reason, the lack of physical interaction with others
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
can lead to a gap between the community and society will become more insensitive. Take China as an example, because of the development of technology and social media, many young
people
now only focus on chatting with other
people
on social publishing without noticing everyone around them. In terms of getting info, some of the data which is posted on the internet sometimes is unreliable.
This
is because the population can post whatever they want on the internet and the info is
according to
their personal view and has not been checked.
As a result
, it can lead to a lot of confusion and conflicts in our lives. In conclusion, using social publishing to contact other
people
and get information is beneficial in some ways, but it can lead to a gap between communities and give wrong data.
Therefore
,
this
essay has proved that the drawbacks of
this
tendency outweigh its advantages.

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Clarity & Precision
Ensure clarity and precision in your argument. Avoid using terms interchangeably unless they are truly synonymous. For instance, 'social news', 'social publishing', and 'social media' are used interchangeably, which might confuse readers about your exact meaning.
Developing Examples
Work on developing more specific examples to support your points. While the example of China addresses the issue of technology impacting social interactions, more detailed examples related to the effects of misinformation could strengthen your argument.
Variety of Expression
Be cautious of repetitive phrases and ideas. Strive for a variety of expressions and avoid unnecessary repetition to make your essay more engaging.
Formality & Precision
Pay attention to your wording and phrasing to avoid ambiguity. Phrases like 'get clue' or 'get info' could be more formally expressed as 'obtain information' or 'stay informed'.
Structure
Your essay demonstrates a good structure, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
Balanced Argument
You've addressed both sides of the argument, which is excellent for the task achievement criterion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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