Many believe that modern technology has brought people together, but others say that it has driven us apart. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion.

#technology #people #viewpoints

There is a division of opinions regarding the impact of modern

technology

on human connectivity, with some asserting/believing that it has fostered/encouraged/promoted greater unity

while

others argue that it has resulted in

increased

Add an article

the increased

show examples

division. I believe that

technology

has created more positive impacts rather than negatives.

Firstly

advance

Replace the word

advanced

show examples

technology

has undeniably transformed the way we

connected

Wrong verb form

connect

show examples

and communicate with one another. Social media preforms, video conferencing and instant messaging have revolutionised how we interact.

Additionally

, it has broken the geographical barrier, enabling individuals to connect with friends and families regardless of distance.

For example

, during COVID,

people

were forbidden to visit different households and maintain social distancing to prevent the spread of disease, a lot of

people

relied on the internet to stay connected with friends, families and

community

Correct article usage

the community

show examples

On the other hand

, others are concerned that modern

technology

has led to social fragmentation and isolation. The over-reliance on digital communication has eroded/

weaken

Wrong verb form

weakened

show examples

face to face

Add a hyphen

face-to-face

show examples

interaction, diminishing the depth and quality of relationships.

For instance

, many young

people

these days are very addicted to their

phone

Fix the agreement mistake

phones

show examples

, in

stand

Add an article

a stand

the stand

show examples

of physically “hanging out” with friends, they rather stay behind the phone,

that

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

can

lend

Correct your spelling

lead

show examples

to decreased attention spans, and

reduce

Wrong verb form

reduced

show examples

interpersonal skills, hindering meaningful connections and empathy. In conclusion,

although

modern

technology

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

presented challenges that might divide us,

however

, it has given us the great opportunity and accessibility to

connected

Wrong verb form

connect

show examples

with

people

at our fingertips, regardless

the

Change preposition

of the

show examples

distances

Submitted by nataliewong313 on Thu May 09 2024

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coherence cohesion

Consider using a wider variety of complex sentence structures to effectively convey your arguments. This would enhance the overall clarity and persuasiveness of your essay.

task achievement

To further strengthen your task achievement score, aim to include more specific examples and detailed explanations to support your viewpoints. This approach will provide greater depth to your analysis and make your argument more compelling.

general

Make sure to proofread your essay to correct minor grammatical errors and word choice issues, which can detract from the reader's overall understanding and engage in your argument.

task achievement

Your essay effectively discusses both viewpoints on the impact of modern technology on human connectivity, demonstrating a well-rounded understanding of the topic.

coherence cohesion

You have successfully provided a clear introduction and conclusion, which succinctly presents your main argument and summarizes your stance, enhancing the logical flow of your essay.

task achievement

Your use of examples, especially the reference to the COVID pandemic to illustrate how technology has facilitated connection, is commendable and supports your main points effectively.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

238 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

connectivity
communicate
social media
virtual meetings
global community
isolation
distract
face-to-face interaction
personal connections
dependency
technology addiction
digital divide

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Many believe that modern technology has brought people together, but others say that it has driven us apart. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion.

Word Count

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Young people are often influenced in their behaviors by others in the same age group. Some argue that peer pressure is important while others feel it has distinct disadvantages. Do the disadvantages of peer pressure outweigh the advantages?

Sports play a significant role in promoting physical and mental well-being. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people think that all teenagers should be required to do unpaid work in their free time to help the local community. They believe this would benefit both the individual teenager and society as a whole. Do you agree or disagree?

Although more and more people read the news on the Internet, newspaper will remain the most important source of news for the majority of people. Do you agree or disagree with that statement?