Some people think governments should spend as much money as possible exploring outer space. Others argue they should spend the money for poor people. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Outer
space
is being invested by the governments and some individuals argue that the Use synonyms
money
should be spent on poor Use synonyms
people
. Use synonyms
This
writer believes that using Linking Words
money
in Use synonyms
space
research could bring humanity new technological advances by learning about other Use synonyms
planets
' climates and conditions, Use synonyms
whereas
making those investments in poor Linking Words
people
could satisfy the public and increase Use synonyms
people
's trust in the Use synonyms
government
which seems to be a superior benefit.
From the positive aspect, Use synonyms
space
research could give us knowledge about the deep vast Use synonyms
space
and Use synonyms
planets
inside it. By applying these Use synonyms
newfounds
, technology can be upgraded to take humans outside of the earth or to start collecting resources from those Correct your spelling
newfound
planets
, the wider study about Use synonyms
space
could Use synonyms
also
offer jobs to citizens. Eventually, exploring Linking Words
space
can improve the economy and operate a project to colonize other Use synonyms
planets
. Use synonyms
For example
, the moon has been proven to have a great impact on tides using Linking Words
space
research and now tidal predictions are no longer an issue Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
this
information.
It is a fact that spending Linking Words
money
on poor Use synonyms
people
can make a significant improvement in the relationship between the public and the Use synonyms
government
. Since everyone considers inequality for poor Use synonyms
people
to be a great problem helping them is a consideration for goodness, with a reduction in the gap between classes in society, it is much easier to manage the country and Use synonyms
also
as Linking Words
people
see the Use synonyms
government
helping others, their trust for Use synonyms
government
develops. Use synonyms
Consequently
, making the Linking Words
government
idle to be trustful and equal in the public mind. Use synonyms
For instance
, charities have been set up to help poor children to go to school and when that happens, plenty of politics encourage Linking Words
people
to follow their Use synonyms
government
.
From the writer's point of view, both ways of using Use synonyms
money
have potential and could benefit the whole community but investing in Use synonyms
people
shows a higher prospect. As Use synonyms
space
exploration takes a lot of time to achieve success, helping poor Use synonyms
people
gives immediate results and is not just a matter of time, high prestige could make Use synonyms
people
willing to contribute to the Use synonyms
government
.
In conclusion, both investment plans, benefit the community by improving technology for Use synonyms
space
exploration or enhancing Use synonyms
people
's relationship with the Use synonyms
government
to help the poor. Personally, investing in Use synonyms
people
could bring immediate success, Use synonyms
therefore
being a much superior decision.Linking Words
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Coherence & Cohesion
To further improve, consider providing more varied and complex sentence structures throughout your essay. This can add depth to your argumentation and showcase your language proficiency more extensively.
Task Achievement
Incorporate a wider range of examples to substantiate your arguments. While the examples provided are relevant, more diverse examples can enhance the persuasiveness of your narrative.
Coherence & Cohesion
Excellent job maintaining a clear and logical structure throughout the essay. Your introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion are well-defined and coherent.
Task Achievement
You effectively addressed the prompt by discussing both viewpoints and providing your own opinion, which demonstrates a strong understanding of the task requirements.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example