Some people think governments should spend as much money as possible exploring outer space. Others argue they should spend the money for poor people. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Outer
space
is being invested by the governments and some individuals argue that the money
should be spent on poor people
. This
writer believes that using money
in space
research could bring humanity new technological advances by learning about other planets
' climates and conditions, whereas
making those investments in poor people
could satisfy the public and increase people
's trust in the government
which seems to be a superior benefit.
From the positive aspect, space
research could give us knowledge about the deep vast space
and planets
inside it. By applying these newfounds
, technology can be upgraded to take humans outside of the earth or to start collecting resources from those Correct your spelling
newfound
planets
, the wider study about space
could also
offer jobs to citizens. Eventually, exploring space
can improve the economy and operate a project to colonize other planets
. For example
, the moon has been proven to have a great impact on tides using space
research and now tidal predictions are no longer an issue due to
this
information.
It is a fact that spending money
on poor people
can make a significant improvement in the relationship between the public and the government
. Since everyone considers inequality for poor people
to be a great problem helping them is a consideration for goodness, with a reduction in the gap between classes in society, it is much easier to manage the country and also
as people
see the government
helping others, their trust for government
develops. Consequently
, making the government
idle to be trustful and equal in the public mind. For instance
, charities have been set up to help poor children to go to school and when that happens, plenty of politics encourage people
to follow their government
.
From the writer's point of view, both ways of using money
have potential and could benefit the whole community but investing in people
shows a higher prospect. As space
exploration takes a lot of time to achieve success, helping poor people
gives immediate results and is not just a matter of time, high prestige could make people
willing to contribute to the government
.
In conclusion, both investment plans, benefit the community by improving technology for space
exploration or enhancing people
's relationship with the government
to help the poor. Personally, investing in people
could bring immediate success, therefore
being a much superior decision.Submitted by [email protected] on
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Coherence & Cohesion
To further improve, consider providing more varied and complex sentence structures throughout your essay. This can add depth to your argumentation and showcase your language proficiency more extensively.
Task Achievement
Incorporate a wider range of examples to substantiate your arguments. While the examples provided are relevant, more diverse examples can enhance the persuasiveness of your narrative.
Coherence & Cohesion
Excellent job maintaining a clear and logical structure throughout the essay. Your introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion are well-defined and coherent.
Task Achievement
You effectively addressed the prompt by discussing both viewpoints and providing your own opinion, which demonstrates a strong understanding of the task requirements.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example