The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in the cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040.

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in the cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040.
The line graph below illustrates the rate of citizens in four different countries,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
started in 1970 and will
continu
Correct your spelling
continue
until 2040. At first glance at the line graph. Almost all the countries will hit the highest point in 2040. Another noticeable feature, Indonesia shows an upward,
while
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
was
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
swing
Wrong verb form
swinging
show examples
. Interestingly, Malaysia and
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
included approximately the same percentage of citizens in 1970.
To begin
with, in the first year,
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
was the highest,
while
Indonesia
equaled
Change the spelling
equalled
show examples
the least rate. On one hand,
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
increased slightly, after that, it grew significantly, and
then
it decreased;
on the other hand
, Indonesia
raised
Verb problem
rose
show examples
continuously.
In addition
,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
year, Malaysia
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
the highest number of residents,
while
Thailand hit the lowest point.
Moreover
, there are some
predicts
Replace the word
predictions
show examples
for the future that show a growth in the four regions.
Additionally
, it seems that Thailand and
Philippines'
Correct article usage
the Philippines'
show examples
populations will grow gradually in the coming years.
Besides
that, the gap between Thailand and Malaysia will be around 40%.
Submitted by haneenalnetaif on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Vocabulary: Replace the words philippines with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • graph
  • percentage
  • population
  • Asian countries
  • living in cities
  • 1970
  • 2020
  • predictions
  • 2030
  • 2040
  • introduction
  • overview
  • trend
  • body paragraph
  • compare
  • predicted percentages
  • summarize
  • closing statement
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