The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in the cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040.

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in the cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040.
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The line graph below illustrates the rate of citizens in four different countries,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
started in 1970 and will
continu
Correct your spelling
continue
until 2040. At first glance at the line graph. Almost all the countries will hit the highest point in 2040. Another noticeable feature, Indonesia shows an upward,
while
Linking Words
Use synonyms
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
was
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
swing
Wrong verb form
swinging
show examples
. Interestingly, Malaysia and
Use synonyms
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
included approximately the same percentage of citizens in 1970.
To begin
Linking Words
with, in the first year,
Use synonyms
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
was the highest,
while
Linking Words
Indonesia
equaled
Change the spelling
equalled
show examples
the least rate. On one hand,
Use synonyms
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
increased slightly, after that, it grew significantly, and
then
Linking Words
it decreased;
on the other hand
Linking Words
, Indonesia
raised
Verb problem
rose
show examples
continuously.
In addition
Linking Words
,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
year, Malaysia
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
the highest number of residents,
while
Linking Words
Thailand hit the lowest point.
Moreover
Linking Words
, there are some
predicts
Replace the word
predictions
show examples
for the future that show a growth in the four regions.
Additionally
Linking Words
, it seems that Thailand and
Use synonyms
Philippines'
Correct article usage
the Philippines'
show examples
populations will grow gradually in the coming years.
Besides
Linking Words
that, the gap between Thailand and Malaysia will be around 40%.
Submitted by haneenalnetaif on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Vocabulary: Replace the words philippines with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • graph
  • percentage
  • population
  • Asian countries
  • living in cities
  • 1970
  • 2020
  • predictions
  • 2030
  • 2040
  • introduction
  • overview
  • trend
  • body paragraph
  • compare
  • predicted percentages
  • summarize
  • closing statement
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