the diagram illustrates how recycled papers is made

the diagram illustrates how recycled papers is made
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The diagram depicts the journey of paper production that not only explains paper production from raw materials but
also
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the recycling process.
Firstly
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, it starts with radiata pine thinnings which form tree logs that will fit into a de-barking drum. In the next phase, the intermediary product is
then
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cut into small pieces using a chipper, before
subsequently
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being sent to a thermomechanical refiner. The refined output from the previous stage is
then
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put into the paper-making machine, which is later used by the factory to produce printed products
such
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as newsprint Recycle parts
then
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will be triggered when people store unused newsprints to
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the kerbside
a kerbside
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kerbside
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curbside
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collection site.
Moreover
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, the collected garbage
then
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goes through a de-inking mechanism,
thus
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it will be ready to undergo cleaning and fine-screening steps.
Lastly
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, the outcome from the previous episode will
then
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go to the thermomechanical procedure, which creates recycled pulp mix as an input of the same paper-making machine previously mentioned.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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