Some people think that a job provides not only an income but also a social life. Other people think that it is better to develop a social life with people you do not work with. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Although
some believe that a job not only offers financial stability but
also
serves as a source of social interaction, others argue that cultivating a social
life
outside of the
workplace
is preferable. In my opinion, the ideal approach lies in achieving a healthy balance between both aspects in order to allow individuals to derive social benefits from their
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
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while
enjoying a broader range of social interactions outside the workspace. It is believed that building
friendships
with colleagues in the
workplace
yields numerous merits in both pay
increase
Fix the agreement mistake
increases
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and working efficiency improvements.
To begin
with, cultivating strong relationships with colleagues in a supportive environment enhances collaboration and teamwork so that they are more likely to achieve common goals or contribute to the success of projects when working together.
This
heightened efficiency and productivity can be recognized by employers, potentially leading to
performance- related
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performance-related
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bonuses or salary increments.
In addition
to the effects on salary increments raised from
such
relationships, having friends at work increases job satisfaction. Shared laughter, mutual support, and positive exchanges create a more enjoyable
workplace
,
as well as
reduce stress and foster a nurturing atmosphere, so
friendships
among colleagues can
also
act as a catalyst for improved teamwork and conflict resolution. When the network of professional connections expands as coworkers become friends, conflicts are often approached with understanding. In effect, the quality of professional relationships and
overall
productivity is enhanced.
However
, others believe that building
friendships
outside the
workplace
also
offers advantages that contribute to a better-rounded and more fulfilling
life
. The primary benefit is the diversification of one's social circle, which exposes individuals to a broader range of perspectives, interests, and experiences.
That is
, making friends beyond the confines of the office can lead to a richer and more varied set of connections that foster personal growth and resilience.
Additionally
,
friendships
formed outside of work are often free from the potential conflicts and power dynamics that can arise in a professional setting, creating a more relaxed and genuine atmosphere for social interactions. These external
friendships
can provide a vital support system, which offers different perspectives on
life
's challenges and benefits emotional well-being.
Therefore
, developing connections beyond the
workplace
is a catalyst for personal enrichment, and it presents a more comprehensive and adaptable network that positively influences various aspects of one's
life
.
Submitted by haixiuxiaonini on

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Task Achievement
Introduce more specific, real-life examples to further bolster your arguments. While your ideas are well-organized and relevant, providing concrete examples can significantly enhance your arguments and make them more convincing.
Coherence & Cohesion
Consider varying your sentence structures and using a wider range of linking words to increase the coherence and cohesion of your essay. While your essay is well-structured, incorporating a greater diversity of linguistic resources can improve the flow and readability of your writing.
Coherence & Cohesion
You have clearly introduced and concluded your essay, effectively framing your discussion and summarizing your main points and opinion.
Task Achievement
You've done an excellent job of discussing both views comprehensively, providing a balanced analysis and clearly stating your own opinion.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay maintains a logical structure throughout, with each paragraph focusing on a specific point related to the topic. This organization aids in the clarity and effectiveness of your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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