Some people think that a job provides not only an income but also a social life. Other people think that it is better to develop a social life with people you do not work with. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #job #income #life #work

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Although

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some believe that a job not only offers financial stability but

also

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serves as a source of social interaction, others argue that cultivating a social

life

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outside of the

workplace

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is preferable. In my opinion, the ideal approach lies in achieving a healthy balance between both aspects in order to allow individuals to derive social benefits from their

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

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while

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enjoying a broader range of social interactions outside the workspace. It is believed that building

friendships

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with colleagues in the

workplace

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yields numerous merits in both pay

increase

Fix the agreement mistake

increases

show examples

and working efficiency improvements.

To begin

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with, cultivating strong relationships with colleagues in a supportive environment enhances collaboration and teamwork so that they are more likely to achieve common goals or contribute to the success of projects when working together.

This

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heightened efficiency and productivity can be recognized by employers, potentially leading to

performance- related

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performance-related

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bonuses or salary increments.

In addition

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to the effects on salary increments raised from

such

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relationships, having friends at work increases job satisfaction. Shared laughter, mutual support, and positive exchanges create a more enjoyable

workplace

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as well as

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reduce stress and foster a nurturing atmosphere, so

friendships

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among colleagues can

also

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act as a catalyst for improved teamwork and conflict resolution. When the network of professional connections expands as coworkers become friends, conflicts are often approached with understanding. In effect, the quality of professional relationships and

overall

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productivity is enhanced.

However

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, others believe that building

friendships

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outside the

workplace

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also

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offers advantages that contribute to a better-rounded and more fulfilling

life

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. The primary benefit is the diversification of one's social circle, which exposes individuals to a broader range of perspectives, interests, and experiences.

That is

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, making friends beyond the confines of the office can lead to a richer and more varied set of connections that foster personal growth and resilience.

Additionally

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friendships

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formed outside of work are often free from the potential conflicts and power dynamics that can arise in a professional setting, creating a more relaxed and genuine atmosphere for social interactions. These external

friendships

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can provide a vital support system, which offers different perspectives on

life

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's challenges and benefits emotional well-being.

Therefore

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, developing connections beyond the

workplace

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is a catalyst for personal enrichment, and it presents a more comprehensive and adaptable network that positively influences various aspects of one's

life

Use synonyms

Submitted by haixiuxiaonini on Tue Apr 09 2024

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Task Achievement

Introduce more specific, real-life examples to further bolster your arguments. While your ideas are well-organized and relevant, providing concrete examples can significantly enhance your arguments and make them more convincing.

Coherence & Cohesion

Consider varying your sentence structures and using a wider range of linking words to increase the coherence and cohesion of your essay. While your essay is well-structured, incorporating a greater diversity of linguistic resources can improve the flow and readability of your writing.

Coherence & Cohesion

You have clearly introduced and concluded your essay, effectively framing your discussion and summarizing your main points and opinion.

Task Achievement

You've done an excellent job of discussing both views comprehensively, providing a balanced analysis and clearly stating your own opinion.

Coherence & Cohesion

Your essay maintains a logical structure throughout, with each paragraph focusing on a specific point related to the topic. This organization aids in the clarity and effectiveness of your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

386 words

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Some people think that a job provides not only an income but also a social life. Other people think that it is better to develop a social life with people you do not work with. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people say that what individuals do to protect cannot make difference, others say that individuals can protect environment. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays the differences between countries are becoming less evident because people follow the same media. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?