IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

There is a lot of pressure and stress in many people's lives. What are the causes of this problem? What could be done to reduce it?

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Nowadays,there is an intense debate about what is the effective way to teach our kids .
While
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 lots of individuals believe that internet reading items must be used for a toddler to show him how to read , others think that just a handbook has to be taken. I completely agree with the initial attendance. On one hand, many scholars discuss that studying through the web
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is
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easier for
students
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. Anyone can easily access the different applications and obtain the materials
that
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apply
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prepared by the tutor.
Secondly
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, these sources are cheaper than traditional books and
well
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will
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not take lots of time.
For instance
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, the paper book without any doubt has to be cost for everyone who wants a version form it and
also
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 will take a long duration before reach
students
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. So , if we need to make the educational process more easier and cheaper,
this
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 is the best to do
this
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 .
On the other hand
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, some scientists go beyond the paper version making young people more focused. When the
students
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 read through a touchable material that may be useful for them and make them more able to get much information and not waste much time.
furthermore
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, reading through the recent media might lead to opposite results,
for instance
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, using these methods could encourage him to chat with his friends or play games
instead
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 of studying process.
To sum up
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, the conversation about what is the best way to educate
students
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 still continuing. Others are enthusiastic about the new technologies to study,
whereas
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 others are still believing in the conventional ways. I believe that we must exploit the internet for the educational process because it is cheaper and less expensive.

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task response
The essay addresses the topic, but it doesn't match the given question about stress and pressure in people's lives. Make sure to closely follow the essay prompt to ensure a full response to the question.
coherence
Clear and logical structure of the essay helps the reader follow your arguments. However, improving paragraph transitions and the overall flow could enhance understanding and cohesion between ideas.
task response
Using specific examples to support your points strengthens your arguments. Consider incorporating more detailed and relevant examples directly related to your topic.
coherence
The introduction and conclusion are present but could be improved by clearly stating your thesis and summarizing your main points more effectively.
task response
A clear, comprehensive explanation of ideas is crucial. Work on expressing your ideas more clearly and directly to make your arguments more persuasive.
task response
You contributed an opinion and attempted to support it with reasons and examples.
coherence
You've attempted to organize your essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which helps in structuring your response.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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