Some people believe that non-academic subjects at school should be removed from the syllabus so that children can concentrate wholly on academic subjects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #subjects #school #syllabus #children

In modern society, there is a debate over the inclusion of non-academic

subjects

in school curriculums.

While

some argue for their removal to prioritize academic

subjects

this

essay strongly disagrees with that statement because unacademic disciplines play a crucial role in fostering holistic development and should

therefore

remain an integral part of the syllabus.

To begin

with, non-academic

subjects

such

as arts, music, physical education, and vocational training offer invaluable opportunities for

students

to explore diverse talents and interests beyond the confines of traditional academia. These disciplines provide a platform for them to unleash their creativity, develop essential life skills, and cultivate a well-rounded personality.

For example

, engaging in sports not only promotes physical health but

also

instils values like teamwork, perseverance, and sportsmanship.

Moreover

, the exclusion of non-academic

subjects

from the syllabus would deprive

students

of opportunities for personal growth, emotional well-being, and

overall

fulfilment. Education should not solely focus on academic achievement but

also

aim to nurture the holistic development of

students

. Non-academic courses provide avenues for self-discovery, self-expression, and emotional regulation, which are vital for building resilient and confident individuals capable of navigating the complexities of life beyond the classroom.

For example

, music is effective for relaxation and stress management, and it might help

students

, who are under a lot of stress during the exams, to calm down.

To conclude

, the argument for the removal of non-academic

subjects

from school curriculums overlooks their inherent value in fostering holistic development and promoting emotional well-being. The proposition to eliminate them is strongly opposed and it is advocated for their continued integration into the educational system to enrich the learning experiences of

students

Submitted by natallia.khrenava on Mon Mar 25 2024

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task achievement

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea that is elaborated upon with specific examples. While your essay has good examples, try to provide more detailed instances to strengthen your arguments further.

coherence cohesion

Your essay demonstrates good coherence and cohesion, with a logical flow of ideas and well-structured paragraphs. To enhance this further, consider more varied and sophisticated linking expressions to connect your ideas more smoothly.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

274 words

7.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that non-academic subjects at school should be removed from the syllabus so that children can concentrate wholly on academic subjects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Your opinion

Students should focus on learning in the classroom rather than show their status by wearing fashionable clothes. Thebefore, all students have to wear school uniforms. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In some countries, it is now possible for people to buy a wide variety of foods transported from all over the world. To what extent do the benefits of this development outweigh the drawbacks?

Some people think that public health is the responsibility of the government while others think that people should be responsible for their own health. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.