Some people believe that non-academic subjects at school should be removed from the syllabus so that children can concentrate wholly on academic subjects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In modern society, there is a debate over the inclusion of non-academic

subjects

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in school curriculums.

While

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some argue for their removal to prioritize academic

subjects

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this

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essay strongly disagrees with that statement because unacademic disciplines play a crucial role in fostering holistic development and should

therefore

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remain an integral part of the syllabus.

To begin

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with, non-academic

subjects

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such

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as arts, music, physical education, and vocational training offer invaluable opportunities for

students

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to explore diverse talents and interests beyond the confines of traditional academia. These disciplines provide a platform for them to unleash their creativity, develop essential life skills, and cultivate a well-rounded personality.

For example

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, engaging in sports not only promotes physical health but

also

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instils values like teamwork, perseverance, and sportsmanship.

Moreover

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, the exclusion of non-academic

subjects

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from the syllabus would deprive

students

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of opportunities for personal growth, emotional well-being, and

overall

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fulfilment. Education should not solely focus on academic achievement but

also

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aim to nurture the holistic development of

students

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. Non-academic courses provide avenues for self-discovery, self-expression, and emotional regulation, which are vital for building resilient and confident individuals capable of navigating the complexities of life beyond the classroom.

For example

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, music is effective for relaxation and stress management, and it might help

students

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, who are under a lot of stress during the exams, to calm down.

To conclude

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, the argument for the removal of non-academic

subjects

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from school curriculums overlooks their inherent value in fostering holistic development and promoting emotional well-being. The proposition to eliminate them is strongly opposed and it is advocated for their continued integration into the educational system to enrich the learning experiences of

students

Use synonyms

natallia.khrenavaMon Mar 25 2024

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task achievement

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea that is elaborated upon with specific examples. While your essay has good examples, try to provide more detailed instances to strengthen your arguments further.

coherence cohesion

Your essay demonstrates good coherence and cohesion, with a logical flow of ideas and well-structured paragraphs. To enhance this further, consider more varied and sophisticated linking expressions to connect your ideas more smoothly.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

274 words

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Some people believe that non-academic subjects at school should be removed from the syllabus so that children can concentrate wholly on academic subjects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Your opinion

‏consumer are faced with increasing numbers of advertisements from competing companies. To what extent do you think are consumers influenced by advertisements? What measures can be taken to protect them?

In many countries, people can buy a wide range of household goods, for example, TV, microwave oven and rice cooker. Is it a positive or negative development?

More and more people are shifting to a plant-based diet. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

Children are now less active in their free time than in the past. Therefore, sports lessons must be compulsory in schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?