IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The number of children that read books for fun has dropped dramatically in recent years. What are the reasons for this? How can we encourage children to read more?

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The majority of
children
Use synonyms
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 failed to read
books
Use synonyms
 in recent times for entertainment. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will explore the causes
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 these problems, and I will suggest a way that
children
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 can read more. There are several causes that contribute
for
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to
show examples
 the absence of reading
books
Use synonyms
 among
children
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. The primary one is that they have technology at
homes
Fix the agreement mistake
home
show examples
 to play games
on-line
Correct your spelling
online
show examples
. Nowadays, the internet has become common at
homes
Fix the agreement mistake
home
show examples
, which
allow
Correct subject-verb agreement
allows
show examples
 them to play games with their friends
as well as
Linking Words
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
make new friends on the internet so they do not bother to read
story
Correct your spelling
storybooks
show examples
books
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. Another reason is that there is an
increases
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increase
show examples
 in
burden
Add an article
the burden
a burden
show examples
 on education. In order to enhance the skills of
students
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, schools have
setup
Correct your spelling
set up
show examples
 a competitive
curicullum
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curriculum
 for them that needs a lot of effort by
students
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 to get high scores.
Hence
Linking Words
, parents
offen
Correct your spelling
often
offer
advice
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advise
show examples
 their wards to study academic subjects only.
For instance
Linking Words
, in India, many institutions conduct more periodic exams to make their
students
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 get high scores compared to
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
school
Correct your spelling
schoolchildren
show examples
children
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. The more
students
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 prepare for the academic exams, the less they give importance to read
books
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. To tackle
this
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issues
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issue
show examples
, institutions should conduct more competitions on literature.
That is
Linking Words
 to say, these days, a number of schools are focusing on
academic
Correct article usage
the academic
show examples
 performance of the learners and they
fails
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fail
show examples
 to develop a sense of competition among
students
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. If they conduct a
story telling
Correct your spelling
storytelling
show examples
 competition, they will prepare for that which requires a regular reading
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
books
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, a few universities in Singapore
inspires
Correct subject-verb agreement
inspire
show examples
 their schoolgoers by conducting essay writing
contest
Fix the agreement mistake
contests
show examples
, which enables them to study more in native
laguages
Correct your spelling
languages
 and
books
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. In conclusion, I believe that the reading of
books
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have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 declined among
students
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 suddenly because they are
influnced
Correct your spelling
influenced
 by online games and are overwhelmed by their studies, and I suggest that schools should persuade them by conducting many contests.

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Grammar/Usage
Consider revisiting your essay to ensure proper use of subject-verb agreement, articles, and pluralizations, which will enhance the clarity and professionalism of your writing.
Expansion of Ideas
Expand on your examples by providing more details to strengthen your arguments. Specific, detailed examples make your points more convincing.
Sentence Variety
Increase the variety of your sentence structures to make your essay more engaging. Using a mix of simple, compound, and complex sentences can enrich the readability and flow of your essay.
Structure
You have provided a clear introduction and conclusion that help to bookend your essay effectively, creating a complete narrative.
Content Relevance
You've identified relevant causes and solutions for the decline in reading among children, directly addressing the essay prompt.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Proliferation
  • Screen-based entertainment
  • Deprioritizing
  • Storytelling
  • Extracurricular activities
  • Underfunded
  • Affordability
  • Curriculums
  • Foster
  • Digital-native generation
  • Gamify
  • Community-driven
  • Diverse collection
  • Milestones
  • Incentivize
What to do next:
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