Some people say that the amount of noise that people make should be strictly controlled. Others say that people should be free to make as much noise as they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Releasing our expression in public space become one of the human rights of mankind.
While
most
people
think that making
noise
everything they want is allowed, I side with those who think that
noise
made by
people
has to be limited.
To begin
with, making some
noise
in public
areas
is a form of expression. In another case, giving
critics
Fix the agreement mistake
criticism
show examples
to the
government
through a demonstration
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the roads becomes an essential action in order to make the country better.
For example
, if there are no responses from the
government
related to a protest given by the society through media,
such
as newspapers and public websites, a demonstration in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public
areas
will be a perfect solution.
Therefore
, the central
government
immediately give a direct response to the action and will consider the public opinion regarding making a policy.
On the other hand
, sometimes, there is a negative impact caused by the public
noise
caused by
people
. In some cases,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
free expression tends to create a chaotic condition because of several groups of
people
that cannot handle their emotions.
For instance
, not a few cases, like demonstrations, cause some commotions which make things worse and damage public
areas
. If the
government
cannot control
this
situation, it will cause public unrest and disturb
people
's lives.
To sum up
, making some
noise
in huge amounts in public may
give
Verb problem
be
show examples
benefit
Replace the word
beneficial
show examples
such
as a political way for society to express their opinion related to bad policies from the
government
.
However
, in my opinion, I think that
people
have to be wiser and the
government
has to control the
noise
in public
areas
.
Submitted by dika2024 on

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task achievement
You have discussed both views and given your own opinion effectively, which shows a good understanding of the task requirement. Try to ensure a balanced discussion between both views before giving your own opinion to enhance the completeness of your response.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear and logical structure, which helps in conveying your ideas coherently. However, you could improve the flow of information by making smoother transitions between paragraphs and ideas.
coherence cohesion
To further elevate your essay, consider varying your sentence structures and vocabulary to enrich the complexity of your expression. This will not only make your writing more engaging but also demonstrate your linguistic capabilities.
task achievement
Effectively discusses both views and provides a clear personal standpoint, demonstrating good task achievement.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are present and contribute to the clarity of your position and summary of the discussion.
task achievement
Uses relevant examples to support main points, enhancing the coherence of the argument.
coherence cohesion
Maintains a logical structure throughout the essay, aiding in the clear presentation of ideas.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • noise pollution
  • mental and physical well-being
  • hearing loss
  • sleep disturbances
  • stress levels
  • freedom of expression
  • cultural expression
  • social interactions
  • economic benefits
  • property values
  • tourism and hospitality
  • entertainment and construction industries
  • thoughtful noise regulations
  • public health
  • economic and cultural considerations
  • zone-based noise control
  • flexibility
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