IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people say that the amount of noise that people make should be strictly controlled. Others say that people should be free to make as much noise as they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Releasing our expression in public space become one of the human rights of mankind.
While
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 most
people
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 think that making
noise
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 everything they want is allowed, I side with those who think that
noise
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 made by
people
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 has to be limited.
To begin
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 with, making some
noise
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 in public
areas
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 is a form of expression. In another case, giving
critics
Fix the agreement mistake
criticism
show examples
 to the
government
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 through a demonstration
in
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on
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 the roads becomes an essential action in order to make the country better.
For example
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, if there are no responses from the
government
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 related to a protest given by the society through media,
such
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 as newspapers and public websites, a demonstration in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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public
areas
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 will be a perfect solution.
Therefore
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, the central
government
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 immediately give a direct response to the action and will consider the public opinion regarding making a policy.
On the other hand
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, sometimes, there is a negative impact caused by the public
noise
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 caused by
people
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. In some cases,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
free expression tends to create a chaotic condition because of several groups of
people
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 that cannot handle their emotions.
For instance
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, not a few cases, like demonstrations, cause some commotions which make things worse and damage public
areas
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. If the
government
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 cannot control
this
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 situation, it will cause public unrest and disturb
people
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's lives.
To sum up
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, making some
noise
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 in huge amounts in public may
give
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be
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benefit
Replace the word
beneficial
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such
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 as a political way for society to express their opinion related to bad policies from the
government
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.
However
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, in my opinion, I think that
people
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 have to be wiser and the
government
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 has to control the
noise
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 in public
areas
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.

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task achievement
You have discussed both views and given your own opinion effectively, which shows a good understanding of the task requirement. Try to ensure a balanced discussion between both views before giving your own opinion to enhance the completeness of your response.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear and logical structure, which helps in conveying your ideas coherently. However, you could improve the flow of information by making smoother transitions between paragraphs and ideas.
coherence cohesion
To further elevate your essay, consider varying your sentence structures and vocabulary to enrich the complexity of your expression. This will not only make your writing more engaging but also demonstrate your linguistic capabilities.
task achievement
Effectively discusses both views and provides a clear personal standpoint, demonstrating good task achievement.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are present and contribute to the clarity of your position and summary of the discussion.
task achievement
Uses relevant examples to support main points, enhancing the coherence of the argument.
coherence cohesion
Maintains a logical structure throughout the essay, aiding in the clear presentation of ideas.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • noise pollution
  • mental and physical well-being
  • hearing loss
  • sleep disturbances
  • stress levels
  • freedom of expression
  • cultural expression
  • social interactions
  • economic benefits
  • property values
  • tourism and hospitality
  • entertainment and construction industries
  • thoughtful noise regulations
  • public health
  • economic and cultural considerations
  • zone-based noise control
  • flexibility
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