Government should spend more money on education or sports and recreation .Do you agree or disagree?

#government #money #education #sports #recreation

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Many

people

Use synonyms

belive

Correct your spelling

believe

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that government should allocate a higher

presentage

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percentage

of money for

education

Use synonyms

than

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

extra curricular

Correct your spelling

extracurricular

show examples

activities

such

Linking Words

sports

Use synonyms

and

recreations

Fix the agreement mistake

recreation

show examples

Correct your spelling

totally agree with

this

Linking Words

argument and in my following

easy

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essay

show examples

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will discuss the statement in

deeply

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depth

show examples

Frist

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First

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of all I think that

education

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is a major factor that

every one

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everyone

show examples

should get from their childhood.Because to develop every

ones

Change to a singular noun

one

show examples

career

education

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is a must rather than everything.Because in

this

Linking Words

competitive and

andvance

Correct your spelling

advance

advanced

technological

society

Add a comma

society,

show examples

everybody should get a proper

education

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to reach

maximum

Add an article

a maximum

the maximum

show examples

in their lifetime goals.For

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

example

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show examples

all the

spotsmans

Correct your spelling

sportsman

sportsmen

in developed countries are using information technology to collect more data and

advices

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advice

pieces of advice

bits of advice

show examples

from experts

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apply

show examples

all over the world.There

for

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apply

show examples

its

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it's

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always logical to spend more money on

education

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than

sports

Use synonyms

and recreation.

Linking Words

Furthermore

Add a comma

Furthermore,

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to develop a country

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apply

show examples

economically and socially

education

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will play a big role than

sports

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Because even

Correct word choice

Even

show examples

though games and

recreations

Fix the agreement mistake

recreation

show examples

do something to make

people

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healthy and entertained rest of the things

depends

Correct subject-verb agreement

depend

show examples

on the

education

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level of a country.For

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

example all over the world a few amount of

people

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doing

Wrong verb form

show examples

sports

Use synonyms

Change preposition

apply

show examples

fulltime

Correct your spelling

full-time

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while

Linking Words

many

people

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trying to enter universities and other higher educational institutes.

To conclude

Linking Words

strongnly

Correct your spelling

strongly

belive

Correct your spelling

believe

show examples

that

people

Use synonyms

should pay more attention and allocate more money

for

Change preposition

show examples

developing a better

education

Use synonyms

system in a country for

Remove the article

apply

show examples

entire development.

Sports

Use synonyms

and

recreations

Fix the agreement mistake

recreation

show examples

will be secondary.

Submitted by withanalagekasunrandimal on Fri May 10 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Language Accuracy

Ensure to check for spelling and grammatical accuracy to avoid small inaccuracies such as 'frist' (first), 'Many people belive' (believe), 'every ones' (everyone's), and 'strongnly' (strongly). These minor errors do not significantly impact the overall clarity but refining them will enhance your presentation.

Example Development

Develop your examples further to support your main points. While you mentioned the use of information technology by sportsmen, expanding on how education facilitates this, or providing more detailed examples would reinforce your argument.

Sentence Variety

Consider varying your sentence structures to create a more dynamic and engaging text. While the coherence and logic of your essay are clear, more complex sentence constructions can demonstrate a higher level of language proficiency.

Structure

Your essay clearly outlines your position with a well-defined introduction and conclusion, effectively bookending your argument.

Coherent Progression

You’ve presented a logical sequence of ideas, maintaining a clear progression of thoughts throughout your essay. This aids in the reader’s understanding and engagement.

Use of Examples

Your use of examples, such as the reference to sportsmen using information technology, is effective in supporting your main points, albeit could be detailed further.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
36
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

232 words

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Government should spend more money on education or sports and recreation .Do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people believe that it is the best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that a vertical city in which people work and live in tall buildings is a good idea. Others say that horizontal living is better. Discuss both views and express your opinion.

One of your friends wants to apply for a job at a summer school camp as a sports trainer. Write a letter to the camp manager to recommend your friend. Say how well you know your friend Describe the qualifications and experience that your has Explain why your friend would be suitable for this job.

In today's world, people spend a lot of money on appearance because they want to look younger. Why does this happen? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?