Government should spend more money on education or sports and recreation .Do you agree or disagree?
Many all the
people
belive
that government should allocate a higher Correct your spelling
believe
presentage
of money for Correct your spelling
percentage
education
than the
Correct article usage
apply
extra curricular
activities Correct your spelling
extracurricular
such
as sports
and recreations
.Fix the agreement mistake
recreation
Im
totally agree with Correct your spelling
I
this
argument and in my following easy
Correct your spelling
essay
i
will discuss the statement in Change the capitalization
I
deeply
.
Correct your spelling
depth
Frist
of all I think that Correct your spelling
First
education
is a major factor that every one
should get from their childhood.Because to develop every Replace the word
everyone
ones
career Change to a singular noun
one
education
is a must rather than everything.Because in this
competitive and andvance
technological Correct your spelling
advance
advanced
society
everybody should get a proper Add a comma
society,
education
to reach maximum
in their lifetime goals.For Add an article
a maximum
the maximum
a
exampleCorrect article usage
apply
Add a comma
,
spotsmans
in developed countries are using information technology to collect more data and Correct your spelling
sportsman
sportsmen
advices
from experts Change the wording
advice
pieces of advice
bits of advice
in
all over the world.There Change preposition
apply
for
Change preposition
apply
its
always logical to spend more money on Correct your spelling
it's
education
than sports
and recreation.
Furthermore
to develop a country Add a comma
Furthermore,
in
economically and socially Change preposition
apply
education
will play a big role than sports
.Because even
though games and Correct word choice
Even
recreations
do something to make Fix the agreement mistake
recreation
people
healthy and entertained rest of the things depends
on the Correct subject-verb agreement
depend
education
level of a country.For a
example all over the world a few amount of Correct article usage
apply
people
doing
Wrong verb form
do
sports
as
Change preposition
apply
fulltime
Correct your spelling
full-time
while
many people
trying to enter universities and other higher educational institutes.
To conclude
,I strongnly
Correct your spelling
strongly
belive
that Correct your spelling
believe
people
should pay more attention and allocate more money for
developing a better Change preposition
to
education
system in a country for a
entire development.Remove the article
apply
Sports
and recreations
will be secondary.Fix the agreement mistake
recreation
Submitted by withanalagekasunrandimal on
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Language Accuracy
Ensure to check for spelling and grammatical accuracy to avoid small inaccuracies such as 'frist' (first), 'Many people belive' (believe), 'every ones' (everyone's), and 'strongnly' (strongly). These minor errors do not significantly impact the overall clarity but refining them will enhance your presentation.
Example Development
Develop your examples further to support your main points. While you mentioned the use of information technology by sportsmen, expanding on how education facilitates this, or providing more detailed examples would reinforce your argument.
Sentence Variety
Consider varying your sentence structures to create a more dynamic and engaging text. While the coherence and logic of your essay are clear, more complex sentence constructions can demonstrate a higher level of language proficiency.
Structure
Your essay clearly outlines your position with a well-defined introduction and conclusion, effectively bookending your argument.
Coherent Progression
You’ve presented a logical sequence of ideas, maintaining a clear progression of thoughts throughout your essay. This aids in the reader’s understanding and engagement.
Use of Examples
Your use of examples, such as the reference to sportsmen using information technology, is effective in supporting your main points, albeit could be detailed further.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.