The following is a diagram of the mobile phone recycling process.

A glance at the flow chart delineates information about the cell phone recycling process.
Overall
, it can be explicitly perceived that
this
procedure includes four general stages.
According to
the diagram, mobile phones are collected after expiring the useful life of consumption. The next stage is storage and forwarding, prior to the resale of components. In the former,
this
technological appliance is divided into phones and batteries. Afterwards, the cells are immediately dismantled and
then
separated using mechanical and magnetic approaches.
Likewise
, batteries encountered these discernible twofold methods too. Concerning the subsequent phase, the separation results in either metal parts or wiring board, plastics, and other materials. For the
first,
the invaluable metals and copper are refined and smelted, respectively, eventually causing the portions to be engaged again.
However
, there is a more complex scenario for plastics, fewer grades of which are accessible after passing the reprocessing,
as well as
the incineration, the other subdivision, can provide the recovered energy startlingly. It is noteworthy that the illustration does not expose how other materials are reprocessed.
Submitted by mohammadhassan.rajati on

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Task Achievement
Try to include a brief conclusion or summary in your essay to effectively round up your explanation of the process.
Coherence & Cohesion
Consider using a wider range of linking words and phrases to enhance the flow of your essay.
Task Achievement
Continuing to incorporate specific details from the diagram when describing each stage will strengthen your essays.
Task Achievement
You effectively paraphrased the introduction, giving a clear overview of the mobile phone recycling process.
Coherence & Cohesion
The logical structure of your essay clearly reflects the stages of the process as depicted in the diagram, demonstrating good coherence.
Coherence & Cohesion
The use of technical terms related to the recycling process shows a good understanding of the topic and contributes to the coherence of your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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