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Band 4.5

Students should pay full cost for their own study, because university education benefits individuals rather than society.

#students #cost #study #university #education #individuals #society
It is said that a full cost paying for university courses will bring more student advantages than public
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
. From my point of view, I agree with
this
 statement because
this
 can enhance student
knowledge
 and their valuable worth. Beginning with the most advantageous aspect of
this
 view is that
students
 can receive equal
education
 from various aspects of life. Paying for
education
 is investing in individual
knowledge
, ideas, skills and
also
 experience from the previous generation.
Besides
students
 will gain diverse perspectives on many real issues in society. To illustrate, the full cost of studying history brings valuable life experience and lessons to
students
 and the exciting human culture in the past.
In addition
, when the student has multiple experiences, they will have more opportunities for applying for a high-salary job or career. Not only the good qualifications that the university
education
 gives to
students
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
 the experience and specialized
knowledge
 they accumulate during the course which can be useful for their future job.
As a result
, people who have higher
education
 are illustrated as the potential for greater social mobility and economic equality.
To sum up
, paying
full
Correct article usage
the full
show examples
 cost for higher
education
 is a necessary thing to improve
students
’
knowledge
,
also
 the potential for a bright future.

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task achievement
Work on integrating more relevant, specific examples to illustrate your points. While your essay touches upon the importance of higher education, adding more detailed examples can enhance the persuasiveness of your argument.
coherence cohesion
Consider refining your introduction and conclusion to make them more impactful. A stronger, clearer statement of your position in the introduction and a more compelling summary of your arguments in the conclusion can improve clarity and effectiveness.
coherence cohesion
Develop your paragraphs with clearer topic sentences and more cohesive transitions between ideas. This will help your essay flow better and make your arguments easier to follow.
task achievement
You've effectively communicated the idea that paying the full cost for higher education benefits students by enhancing their knowledge and opportunities.
coherence cohesion
Your essay maintains a logical structure, making it easier for readers to follow your line of reasoning.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • beneficiary
  • accountability
  • economic mobility
  • social inequalities
  • subsidized education
  • vocational training
  • deliberate choice
  • earning potential
  • public funding
  • societal benefits
  • innovation
  • self-financing
  • social mobility
  • economic equality
  • grants
  • scholarships
What to do next:
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