Nowadays, more and more children acquire unhealthy eating habits. Why is this happening? What can be done to solve this issue?

There is an ongoing debate surrounding
children
these days eating more unhealthy
foods
. From
this
writer's perspective, the core reason for
this
issue is the prevalence of fast snack
consumption
whereas
the problem can be reduced by governments putting higher
taxes
on sugar, fat, and high-calorie
junk
food
. The initial reason for the increasing
consumption
of unhealthy products in
children
's diets is the popularity of
junk
food
in fast-paced societies.
In other words
, commercial breaks on televisions or pop-up ads on the Internet usually advertise discounts on fast
food
at restaurants or the fast and convenient delivery service of those to the viewers.
This
situation leads to
children
begging their parents for
junk
snack
Fix the agreement mistake
snacks
show examples
despite how unhealthy they are.
Therefore
, the rise of fast
food
popularity among
children
contributes to the high
consumption
of these products.
This
problem,
however
, can be alleviated by the implementation of high
taxes
on different unhealthy factors in
foods
such
as sugar or ingredients containing large proportions of fat. To clarify, by applying
this
regulation, authorities can lower the
consumption
of
junk
foods
because parents will consider the high price of them and are not likely to buy those
foods
for their
children
. To annotate the point, consider the UK where governments force supermarkets to pay higher
taxes
for
carbohydrate
Fix the agreement mistake
carbohydrates
show examples
leading to the expensive cost of sugary drinks,
thus
, parents do not purchase those making their
children
consume less
carbohydrate
Fix the agreement mistake
carbohydrates
show examples
. In conclusion, the root cause of
children
's high
consumption
of unhealthy
food
stems from the popularity of fast
food
in modern days.
Nevertheless
, it can be mitigated by governments applying high rates of
taxes
on sugary and high-fat
foods
.
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coherence cohesion
Consider varying your sentence structures more to enhance readability and flow. While your essay is well-organized, a greater variety of sentence types can make your arguments even more engaging.
task achievement
To solidify your argument, include more specific examples or data. Your use of the UK as an example is effective, but additional examples could provide stronger support for your points.
coherence cohesion
You provided a clear and coherent structure, with a distinguishable introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which effectively guides the reader through your arguments.
task achievement
You successfully identified the problem and proposed a viable solution, demonstrating a strong understanding of the task requirements.

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