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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the distribution of different income groups in cities and regional centres of Australia

The chart below shows the distribution of different income groups in cities and regional centres of Australia
The bar graph illustrates the percentages of four different income
groups
Use synonyms
 in
cities
Use synonyms
 and regional
centres
Use synonyms
 in Australia.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the highest
proportion
Use synonyms
 in
cities
Use synonyms
 is
Use synonyms
middle
Correct article usage
the middle
show examples
group
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 in the regional
centres
Use synonyms
 is
lower
Add an article
a lower
the lower
show examples
middle
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
. In
cities
Use synonyms
,
Use synonyms
Middle
Correct article usage
the Middle
show examples
group
Use synonyms
is
Verb problem
has
show examples
 the highest
proportion
Use synonyms
 at 35% compared to other
groups
Use synonyms
. It is followed by
lower
Correct article usage
the lower
show examples
middle
Use synonyms
 at 30%, becoming the second largest
proportion
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
,
high
Correct article usage
the high
show examples
 and low
groups
Use synonyms
 are the lowest at 20% and 12% respectively. In regional
centres
Use synonyms
,
on the other hand
Linking Words
,
lower
Add an article
the lower
show examples
middle
Use synonyms
 becomes the highest
proportion
Use synonyms
 at 33% compared to other
groups
Use synonyms
.
Use synonyms
Middle
Correct article usage
The middle
show examples
group
Use synonyms
, interestingly, is the second largest
proportion
Use synonyms
 at 27%. Another important trend is that
low
Correct article usage
the low
show examples
group
Use synonyms
 becomes the third place at 22%, higher than
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
group
Use synonyms
 in
cities
Use synonyms
. It was followed by
high
Correct article usage
the high
show examples
group
Use synonyms
 at 15%, as the lowest in terms of income percentage compared to other
groups
Use synonyms
 in regional
centres
Use synonyms
.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words groups, cities, centres, proportion, middle, group with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 5 times.
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