Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where did their training. Others believe they should be freen to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

In some countries, the majority of professionals,
which
Fix the agreement mistake
who
show examples
have completed their
requiriments
Correct your spelling
requirements
as
students
, are relocating to places where is more convenient to live
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
. Many people argue that their careers should be carried out in the same region where their training was
recieved
Correct your spelling
received
,
however
many others consider that everybody could choose freely where
execute
Add the particle
to execute
show examples
their professions. I partially agree with these statements, and I staunchly believe that both sides should be taken into account. In
this
essay, I will explain the two positions in detail and give my personal opinion. To start with, many countries offer
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
students
scholarships in order to give them the best conditions to reach their goals.
This
means that the population has leveraged those allowances that the government has proposed.
For example
, in
Colombia
Add a comma
Colombia,
show examples
there is a scholarship known as 'Ser pilo
paga
Correct your spelling
page
' in which people that have lived in devastating conditions
received
Wrong verb form
receive
show examples
not only a stipend but
also
enrolling fees
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
free.
However
, sociologist research has shown that most of these
students
decide to move to
other country
Change the wording
another country
other countries
show examples
once they have graduated.
Then
, these are considered as
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
unfair behaviour because they should reward
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the country by working and proposing local cutting-edge tools.
Conversely
, many others have had to pay high rates for their studies, even by requiring loans which after must be paid, even with higher costs owing the basic amount
in addition
to the
interests
Fix the agreement mistake
interest
show examples
.
This
means that some societies have to establish their own opportunities
according to
their economic status,
nevertheless
, any allowance has been
recieved
Correct your spelling
received
.
Besides
, in many regions, salaries are not enough to supply
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
basic needs.
Therefore
,
students
have to move to gain better stipends, and
then
pay for the debts that they must
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
acquire
due to
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
of opportunities.
To sum up
, both sides should be considered and carefully evaluated because in some cases
students
should
reward
Wrong verb form
be rewarded
show examples
for the allowances that they
recieved
Correct your spelling
receive
,
nonetheless
, there are many situations where people have to search for work abroad.
Submitted by luciaagudelomotta on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction clarity
Ensure that your introduction clearly outlines the structure of your essay and sets up the discussion points concisely.
Supporting Examples
Focus on providing more specific examples to support your arguments. Real-life examples or statistics would enrich your essay and make your arguments more compelling.
Linking Words
For a more fluent reading experience, try to use a variety of linking words and phrases to connect your ideas better.
Grammar and Accuracy
Revise your essay to correct grammatical errors and improve readability.
Discussion Balance
Your essay successfully discusses both views on the topic, demonstrating a good understanding of the issue.
Opinion Integration
You have a clear personal opinion that is well integrated into the conclusion, providing a thoughtful wrap-up to your discussion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: