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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The bar chart below gives information about the sales of electric cars in china, Europe and the United States between 2016 and 2023.

The bar chart below gives information about the sales of electric cars in china, Europe and the United States between 2016 and 2023.
The bar chart
show
Change the verb form
shows
show examples
 the data that China has
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
sold an
electrics
Correct your spelling
electric
show examples
 car to Europe and The United
state
Fix the agreement mistake
States
show examples
 of America during the
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2016 to 2023. From the information shown that has been increased. From the start of selling of
Add a comma
electrics,
show examples
electrics
Correct your spelling
electric
show examples
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
 has
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
slightly increased in
first
Correct article usage
the first
show examples
 four
years
Use synonyms
 and dramatically rising
up
Change preposition
in up
show examples
last
Linking Words
 three
years
Use synonyms
. China is the
kargest
Correct your spelling
largest
 market of people who
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 using
then
Linking Words
European
Correct your spelling
Europe
show examples
. The smallest market
is
Correct your spelling
in
show examples
 America and it has been
flctuate
Correct your spelling
fluctuate
 d since they are starting
selling
Change the verb form
to sell
show examples
. From the
begining
Correct your spelling
beginning
 China was the first nation that was
highier
Correct your spelling
higher
that
Correct word choice
than
show examples
 others,
Then
Linking Words
 and steadily
beteewn
Correct your spelling
over
 three
years
Use synonyms
, After all extremely increased in past three
years
Use synonyms
 reached
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the top. Europe was slightly
inceasing
Correct your spelling
increasing
 and dramatically rising up in
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 of the
preriod
Correct your spelling
previous
 time. United
State
Fix the agreement mistake
States
show examples
,
the
Add a missing verb
is the
show examples
 only
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
country
Add an article
the country
a country
show examples
 that has been
fluctauted
Correct your spelling
fluctuated
fluctuate
 in between
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the population to
made
Change the form of the verb
make
show examples
 a
dicision
Correct your spelling
decision
 all about to
using
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
electics
Correct your spelling
electrics
electric
 cars.
Then
Linking Words
 once they prepared was slightly increasing and being popular for selling into the market.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "dramatically" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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