Chigozie Ogbonna: Buying things on the Internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays, it
becomes
Wrong verb form
has become
show examples
increasingly common to buy
things
on the
Internet
like books, air tickets and groceries. In
this
essay, I will explain why the benefits of buying
things
online overshadow the potential drawbacks. On the one hand, buying
things
on the
Internet
can pose some challenges.
First,
as consumers, we have to deal with uncertainty. What I mean by
that is
books or other
things
offered on the
internet
are not always in good condition, some of them may be broken.
Although
it is still fine, we can not be sure that it will be safe on the way to us.
For instance
, we buy a book from an online marketplace,
then
the store delivers it to us through an expedition service.
However
, since there are a lot of
things
to be delivered, the book we bought suddenly broke.
Furthermore
, buying
things
on the
internet
makes us not be able to feel the experience of strolling a store looking for
things
to buy. Even though some
people
may think it is tiring, walking with your friends or even just by yourself strolling a convenience store actually gives you a different experience. There, you can meet and interact with many
people
,
for example
, it really can reduce stress for some
people
.
On the other hand
, despite the disadvantages, I would argue that buying
things
online offers more benefits. First and foremost, it really saves
time
for consumers. For consumers who are busy with their work, spending
time
after the office to buy groceries
not
Add a missing verb
is not
show examples
effective for them since they can use their free
time
to take a rest.
Moreover
, we can save more
time
when we buy
things
from an online marketplace as it does not take a long
time
to choose
things
, like when we want to move from the food category to the body shops section, it just needs one click to change the category. I mean we do not have to walk to another section like when we are in the mall.
Secondly
, buying
things
online brings advantages to many expedition services and society in general. It can reduce the unemployment level since many companies recruit many
people
to support their delivery services.
Submitted by mmmuuu on

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Task Achievement
Consider providing more balanced arguments by exploring both sides of the argument equally. This will strengthen the analysis and make the argument more persuasive.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use a variety of linking words and phrases to improve flow and coherence throughout the essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Implement a clear conclusion summarizing the main points and reiterating your position to reinforce the structure and clarity of your argument.
Task Achievement
The essay presents a clear position that the benefits of shopping online outweigh the disadvantages.
Task Achievement
You provided specific examples to support your arguments, enhancing the essay's persuasiveness.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure, with clear paragraphs for introduction, body, and conclusion.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Convenience
  • Vast array
  • International sellers
  • Price comparison
  • Impulse buying
  • Overspending
  • Tactile experience
  • Satisfaction
  • Potential for fraud
  • Security concerns
  • Packaging waste
  • Emissions
  • Centralized distribution
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