It is the responsibility of individuals to save and provide for their own retirement. Governments have no obligation to provide this benefit. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Individuals

Use synonyms

should be responsible for saving their own pensions, as the

government

Use synonyms

should not take

this

Linking Words

into consideration.

However

Linking Words

, many

individuals

Use synonyms

argue it is their own responsibility to provide

retirement

Use synonyms

Correct word choice

and I

show examples

mostly disagree with

this

Linking Words

point of view. Admittedly, proponents of personal responsibility claim that people should consider their

retirement

Use synonyms

, One of the obvious reasons is that it encourages

individuals

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to plan their future financial needs.

This

Linking Words

means that they will calculate their expenses,and after analyzing,

this

Linking Words

pattern incentives to save their money.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, if citizens could provide their own pensions, the

government

Use synonyms

could divert its money to other social services,

such

Linking Words

as education and healthcare. As an example, in Finland, a significant proportion of the population provides their own

retirement

Use synonyms

savings;

consequently

Linking Words

, the country focuses on as much priority as sectors.

Nevertheless

Linking Words

, despite

retirement

Use synonyms

planning helping the country, it leads to inequality among city dwellers. A primary justification is that relying solely on personal savings might contribute to difficulties. As long as , not many

individuals

Use synonyms

are sufficiently affluent to secure future finances, leading to burden problems.

For instance

Linking Words

, in Azerbaijan, more and more people are at low-income levels which does not sound enough good to provide their own

retirement

Use synonyms

Additionally

Linking Words

, I think that it is the duty of the

government

Use synonyms

to fund the pension system owing to

individuals

Use synonyms

contributing to tax society through taxes and labour during their working years.

Hence

Linking Words

, providing

retirement

Use synonyms

plays a significant role in respecting their senior citizens. In conclusion,

while

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funding their own

retirement

Use synonyms

fosters individual accountability and helps the

government

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to allocate its budget to other socioeconomic parts, I am of the opinion that authorities should be responsible for

this

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and it is their duty.

ilkin.abdullaev04Tue Nov 19 2024

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task achievement

Make sure to consistently address the key points in the argument, without leaving any lingering doubt or ambiguity in your stance. A clear and focused response throughout would strengthen the task achievement.

task achievement

Ensure that all main points are well-supported with examples and details. This will provide a stronger backing to your argument and enhance the clarity of your ideas.

coherence cohesion

Maintain a consistent and logical structure to the essay. Each paragraph should unfold seamlessly into the next, allowing for a clearer and more easy-to-follow argument.

coherence cohesion

Try to enhance the logical flow of ideas by using more varied linking words and ensuring that each paragraph connects clearly to your overall argument.

coherence cohesion

You have clearly provided an introduction and a conclusion to frame your argument well.

task achievement

The essay responds to the question effectively by discussing both sides of the argument and clearly stating your stance.

task achievement

There is a noticeable effort to illustrate examples, such as those from Finland and Azerbaijan, which is commendable as it shows real-world application of the points being made.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

283 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

retirement savings
financial planning
economic circumstances
government provision
basic state pension
financial independence
income disparities
aging populations
social safety net
tax burden
financial education
quality of life
personal financial responsibility
social inequality

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It is the responsibility of individuals to save and provide for their own retirement. Governments have no obligation to provide this benefit. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people feel that manufacturers and supermarkets have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging of goods. Others argue that customers should avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging. Discuss both views and give your opinion. (rewrite)

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One of the widely discussed issues nowadays is that Governments impose extra taxes on flights to restrict tourism industry. It is undeniable that tourism has become an essential part of our life.

MANY PEOPLE WHO CARE FOR THE ELDERLY DO NOT HAVE ENOUGH TIME TO LOOK AFTER THEM. WHAT ARE THE PROBLEMS RELATED TO THIS? WHAT ARE SOME POSSIBLE SOLUTIONS?