students should pay the full cost for their own study, because university education benefits individuals rather than society. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some believe that teenagers should pay for all expenses for their education as university courses
bring
Verb problem
are
show examples
more advantageous to the
students
than the society. From my point of view, I totally disagree with
this
phenomenon,
hence
the following essay will give some reasons and explain my opinions. The primary reason is
giving
Change the verb form
to give
show examples
students
opportunities to pursue higher education which has several benefits to society. First and foremost, teenagers have many chances of better occupations in the future.
Futhermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, people who are not able to afford the fee can be confident to expose their potential with the financial support of
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
.
As a result
, it reduces the unemployment rate. To cite an instance, the higher the university enrollment, the fewer crimes are committed. Another reason is an inefficient allocation of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
human
sources
Correct your spelling
resources
show examples
. When
students
’ education is paid
, many
Change preposition
for, many
show examples
large organizations namely universities, companies and
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
have not only more talented
students
but our country
also
develop
Correct subject-verb agreement
develops
show examples
strongly. Many scholarships are the best example
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
issue. Especially
medical
Change preposition
for medical
show examples
students
, the longer studying
medical
Replace the word
medicine
show examples
takes and the more expensive the fee values lead to the motivation
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
students
achieving
Change the verb form
to achieve
show examples
some scholarships. After graduation, they will be quality doctors who could save
others
Change noun form
others'
other's
show examples
lives. In conclusion, I strongly believe that
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
should pay the payment of many
talents
Replace the word
talented
show examples
students
or share the fee with them to give several opportunities for teenagers in their progress.
Moreover
, it provides potential
students
to contribute several distinctive
benefit
Change to a plural noun
benefits
show examples
to society and reduce unemployment and crimes rate around the world.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea, supporting it with specific examples or explanations.
coherence cohesion
Use a variety of linking words to show the relationships between ideas, enhancing the flow of your essay.
task achievement
Expand on your examples with more specifics to strengthen your arguments and make them more convincing.
grammatical accuracy
Try to proofread your essay for minor grammatical errors and ensure subject-verb agreement is consistently correct.
introduction clarity
You effectively introduced your topic and clearly stated your disagreeing stance on the issue, which sets a strong foundation for the essay.
logical structure
You provided a logical structure, with each paragraph dedicated to a separate point supporting your view.
relevant examples
Use of relevant examples, such as the relationship between university enrollment and crime rates, effectively supports your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • beneficiary
  • accountability
  • economic mobility
  • social inequalities
  • subsidized education
  • vocational training
  • deliberate choice
  • earning potential
  • public funding
  • societal benefits
  • innovation
  • self-financing
  • social mobility
  • economic equality
  • grants
  • scholarships
What to do next:
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