some people feel that the government should regulate the level of violence for films of television and cinema. Others feel that violent films should not be released. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

this

Linking Words

digital age, in many

Change preposition

apply

show examples

movies

Use synonyms

, lots of

type

Fix the agreement mistake

types

show examples

of movie genres

being

Add a missing verb

are being

show examples

produced. Some are positive but some may

bring

Verb problem

have

show examples

bad

Correct article usage

a bad

show examples

impact

Change preposition

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

communication

such

Linking Words

violence

Use synonyms

. Many citizens

belive

Correct your spelling

believe

show examples

that the government should regulate the level of

violence

Use synonyms

while

Linking Words

others think that cinema should not

released

Change the verb form

release

show examples

violent

movies

Use synonyms

anymore.

This

Linking Words

essay is going to discuss both views and give the writer's own opinion.

In the

Change preposition

The

show examples

first viewpoint that the government should regulate violent

films

Use synonyms

might be a reasonable activity to decline the negative impact which

movies

Use synonyms

bring. Young people after watching some of these violent

films

Use synonyms

might commit real-life crimes. Because they think that everyone using

violence

Use synonyms

like in

films

Use synonyms

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

the

violence

Use synonyms

being

Add a missing verb

is being

show examples

normalized day by day. From

this

Linking Words

kind of thinking

way

Use synonyms

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

communication can easily

Fix the infinitive

apply

show examples

have false beliefs and cause many

kind

Change to a plural noun

kinds

show examples

of crimes.

That is

Linking Words

why

regulate

Wrong verb form

regulating

show examples

and

fine

Wrong verb form

fining

show examples

levels of violent

movies

Use synonyms

will reduce a big amount of criminals.

This

Linking Words

solution not only

cover

Change the verb form

covers

show examples

prople

Correct your spelling

people

but

also

Linking Words

still

release

Correct subject-verb agreement

releases

show examples

some

movies

Use synonyms

for citizens to watch

whener

Correct your spelling

when

whenever

they

bored

Add a missing verb

are bored

show examples

. Turning to the second point of view, other individuals believe that violent

films

Use synonyms

should not be released in public.

This

Linking Words

way

Use synonyms

can radically

reduced

Change the verb form

reduce

show examples

violence

Use synonyms

compared to the first idea.

However

Linking Words

, it might decline the knowledge about wars and terrorism and it might

make

Verb problem

cause

show examples

people

easier

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

being

Wrong verb form

show examples

bullied and

suffered

Wrong verb form

suffer

show examples

violence

Use synonyms

Movies

Use synonyms

might be so violent but thinking another

way

Use synonyms

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

kind of nearly

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

real life so citizens can

also

Linking Words

learn

some

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

more with

movies

Use synonyms

. Because of

this

Linking Words

situation, the

way

Use synonyms

which is violent

films

Use synonyms

will not be released in future can not be able. Taking

everthing

Correct your spelling

everything

into account, the first solution is still better than the latter when

violence

Use synonyms

still be fined but individuals can know how criminals work outside there.

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May 11, 2024

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structure

Try to organize your ideas more clearly, separating each viewpoint into distinct paragraphs for better clarity.

linking words

Use a wider range of linking words to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs.

examples

Elaborate more on examples to support your viewpoints. Providing specific instances or statistics would strengthen your argument.

grammar

Consider reviewing and correcting minor grammatical errors to enhance the overall readability of your essay.

conclusion

Revisit the conclusion to ensure it clearly summarizes the essay's main points and explicitly states your opinion.

balanced argument

Successfully discussed both views on the topic, offering a balanced perspective.

personal opinion

Provided a clear personal opinion, integrating it effectively into the conclusion.

introduction conclusion

Introduction and conclusion are present, setting a good foundation and closure for the essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
31
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

303 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

regulation
vulnerable groups
age restrictions
censorship
real-life aggression
healthier society
creative freedom
free speech
artistic vision
cultural narratives
personal responsibility
viewing choices
balanced approach
rating systems
parental guidance

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some people feel that the government should regulate the level of violence for films of television and cinema. Others feel that violent films should not be released. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The best way to teach children to cooperate is through team sports at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more accessible. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

In some countries, there has been an increase in the number of parents who educate their children themselves at home instead of sending them to school. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this idea?

Children now adays spend a great deal of time watching television, however, television cannot replace the book as a learning tool which is why children are less well- educated today to what extend do you agree or disagree.