All over the world, societies are facing a growing problem with obesity. This problem affects both adults and children. What are the reasons and what can be done?

#world #societies #obesity #adults #children

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Around the world,countries are dealing with problems related to being fat.

This

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issue impacts either old ones or adolescents. The first and maybe the most important reason is wrong and poor

diet

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in society.

In addition

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, hectic lives may lead people to eat more processed,readily cooked or fast food. One way to enhance the quality of

diet

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is encouraging the public to eat healthier food and

also

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, to implement reasonable prices on organic healthy ingredients.

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today's busy and fast rhythm of life, the majority of people do not have sufficient time to pay attention to their

diet

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in terms of being healthy and nutritious.

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, nutritious foods are not usually accessible. So , many communities do not prefer to find them and appeal to have something more accessible. Apart from that,many populations return home late and they are not as fresh as being able to cook.Consuming fast cooking immethodically , definitely, causes folk to put on a lot of weight and

this

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trend may lead society to struggle with a serious and crucial problem called "obesity". One way to tackle

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vital issue is to promote a healthy

diet

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in society.

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, designing advertisements on TV or social media that depict easy snacks with healthy ingredients.

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,nutritious foodstuffs not only should have affordable costs but

also

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should be as accessible as possible.

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, people do not tend to eat fast meals. The less societies eat fast foods, they will be

healthier

Correct word choice

apply

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. To put it in a nutshell, suffering from being fat is one of the important crises among countries all around the world.

This

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issue is caused by poor

diet

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and lack of time may cause having tendency to eat fast cuisine as they are easy to find and prepare. Governments should implement a strategy to invest in efficient ways to solve

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problem.

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, by showing the merits of having a healthy

diet

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on TV or other media.

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, the price of healthy foodstuffs should be lowered and they ought to be more accessible.

Submitted by Maral.qanbarii1992 on Sat May 11 2024

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Sentence Variety

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Specific Examples

Use more specific examples and evidence to support your arguments. This will strengthen your task response and make your essay more convincing.

Repetition

Watch out for repetition of ideas and phrases. Ensure each paragraph introduces new information or a new aspect of your argument.

Paraphrasing

Work on paraphrasing your topic sentences more effectively. This improves both coherence and task response by making your argument clearer and more focused.

Task Response

You've addressed both parts of the question, discussing reasons for obesity and possible solutions.

Structure

You have a clear thesis statement and conclusion, which strengthens the structure of your essay.

Understanding

Your essay demonstrates an understanding of the topic and an attempt to cover it comprehensively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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6
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

6 paragraphs

338 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

prevalence
processed food
sedentary lifestyle
calories
nutrition education
balanced diet
socio-economic factors
public health organizations
subsidies
regulating
marketing
awareness campaigns
physical activity
healthy lifestyle

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All over the world, societies are facing a growing problem with obesity. This problem affects both adults and children. What are the reasons and what can be done?

Fully explain your ideas

it is important for people to take risks, both in their professionals lives and personal lives. do you think the advantagous of taking risk outweigh the disadvantagous.

Tourism is one of the fastest growing industries and contributes a great deal to economics around the world.However, the damage tourism can cause to local cultures and environment is often ignored. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.