Some countries have introduced laws to limit working hours for employees. Why are these laws introduced? Do you think they are a positive or negative development?
One of the most prevalent trends in the contemporary world is the cumulative increase in
health
and family violence problems Use synonyms
due to
working excess Linking Words
hours
at their workplaces. The government enforced strict laws on companies that are giving extra Use synonyms
work
to their employees. It is a positive step taken by the state. Use synonyms
This
essay will discuss why it is beneficial for people and society.
Linking Words
Firstly
, impacts Linking Words
health
and family relations. The main reason is that working more Use synonyms
hours
disturbs staff's Use synonyms
health
, which leads to major problems Use synonyms
such
as heart and fatigue. Another factor is after finishing a long shift of Linking Words
work
they may meet with an accident Use synonyms
while
driving their motors. Linking Words
In addition
, they may start taking drugs to get extra energy which results in Linking Words
health
loss and extra burden on the Use synonyms
health
system. Use synonyms
For example
, in China, no workers Linking Words
work
more than 16 Use synonyms
hours
recently survey printed in the press, that they committed suicide by jumping from the factory walls. Use synonyms
As a result
, the Government brought strict laws in practice to stop these types of incidents.
Linking Words
Secondly
, negative impact on family members and family violence. The primary factor is that after long Linking Words
hours
of Use synonyms
work
, tradies are tired and unable to spare time for their family members. Use synonyms
In addition
, sometimes they miss the cutoff from the community and are unable to join any events, which bring less value to society. Linking Words
For instance
, children and family members start their ways and divert to bad companies. Linking Words
For instance
, people's divorce rate increased recently as per a survey done by the Sydney Herald newspaper. Linking Words
As a consequence
, it is apparent why many people are not doing extra Linking Words
work
. Use synonyms
In contrast
, we cannot deny money is important for everyone to make life easy and wealthy. Linking Words
However
, wealth cannot give you peace of mind and Linking Words
health
benefits to keep families happy.
In conclusion, following the analysis of why the Authorities put Regulations on the citizens, to make them happy and reduce the burden on the Use synonyms
health
system, where the nation can use taxpayer's money on other developments.Use synonyms
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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure a clear distinction between each paragraph’s main idea to enhance the essay’s coherence. Opening sentences should clearly state the topic of the paragraph.
Coherence & Cohesion
Incorporate a variety of linking words effectively but ensure they are used appropriately to enhance flow and coherence.
Task Achievement
Try to provide more specific examples or data to strengthen your arguments and make your points more convincing.
Task Achievement
Review and refine your conclusion to ensure it clearly summarizes the essay’s main points and your stance on the topic, reinforcing your viewpoint effectively.
Task Achievement
Your introduction sets a good context for the essay’s topic, helping to engage the reader effectively.
Task Achievement
You have successfully incorporated relevant examples and scenarios to support your arguments, which enhances the essay's overall strength.
Coherence & Cohesion
The organization of ideas into paragraphs aids in making the essay more readable and structured.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?