In many countries, small shops are closing. Give your reasons about this. Is it positive or negative? Give examples from your knowledge and experience.
People
are winding up their local shops
in various countries across the world, and there are many reasons behind this
move like modernisation, I belive
that Correct your spelling
believe
this
not
a positive move, rather it has many drawbacks.
Add a missing verb
is not
Due to
globalisation, brands like Nike, Puma, Mcdonalds, and KFC are dominating the markets in almost every nation, I think this
is the biggest reason why small vendors are not able to sell their local products wheather
the Correct your spelling
whether
apparels
, toys, and food, so they are left with no choice, but to wind up their small stores. Apart from that, Fix the agreement mistake
apparel
people
are becoming brand concious
these days, so they Correct your spelling
conscious
instead
of buying from small shops
, prefer to buy from large stores like Adidas, Apple, and many more. For example
, instead
of buying coffee from a local shop, people
love to have a
coffee from Starbucks or Cafe Coffee Day. Correct article usage
apply
Moreover
, another reason could be building
of huge shopping malls, Add an article
a building
the building
who
Correct pronoun usage
which
takeover
the place of these small and local businesses. Correct your spelling
take over
People
instead
of going to different shops
, likes
to shop in these shopping malls, where they are able to find all products Replace the word
like
at
one place.
In my opinion, Change preposition
in
this
is a negative development becasue
first of all, Correct your spelling
because
this
move is ruining the businesses of locals because no one likes to shop from
these Change preposition
at
shops
anymore. Another drawback is the loss of culture and heritage of a particular country, for example
in local shops
people
sell their traditional things like handmade clothes, shoes, and in fact traditional dishes as well, but by shutting down thier
stores, they are losing their cultures and traditions. Correct your spelling
their
Moreover
, this
is not only hitting the incomes of locals,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
somewhere hitting the economy of a nation as well.
In conclusion, reasons like urbanisation and globalisaton
are responsible for shutting down the local and small Correct your spelling
globalisation
globalization
shops
in various nations across the world, and this
step is not in the favour of residents of these countries as somehow people
are losing their cultures and traditions associated with these small and medium scale businesses, also
people
are losing their incomes from these, and somewhere this
is also
a
negative for a country's economy.Change the article
apply
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coherence cohesion
Consider diversifying sentence structure to enhance the flow of ideas. This will make your essay more engaging and easier to read.
task achievement
Be mindful of small grammatical and punctuation errors, such as 'wheather' (whether), 'people love to have a coffee' (people love having coffee), and correct use of spaces around punctuation. Attention to detail can significantly improve the clarity of your writing.
task achievement
Incorporate more specific examples to support your arguments. Mentioning general brands or concepts is a good start, but adding detailed instances or personal anecdotes will make your points more convincing and your essay more engaging.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear distinction between your introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. While you have these elements, making each section distinct and well-developed will strengthen your argument’s structure and clarity.
task achievement
Effectively introduces the topic and your stance, providing a clear overview of your essay’s direction.
coherence cohesion
You effectively used a range of vocabulary to convey your ideas. It aids in demonstrating a good command of language.
task achievement
Your conclusion summarises your argument well, reinforcing your viewpoint on the negative impact of small shops closing.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite